Social media addiction: Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more
people
have a big amount of accounts in social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
like Facebook, Instagram, YouTube etc.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
does it make any impact on our society? First of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
let's begin with the positive view on that question. Social apps give us an opportunity to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
,
businesess
Correct your spelling
businesses
,
companies
Correct word choice
and companies
show examples
around the world. It
also
allows us to earn money and spend our free time checking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
etc. . We can have fun doing that so many times per day and it's not annoying for us.
However
, there are more things to consider on the
over hand
Correct your spelling
overhand
show examples
.
Fistly
Correct your spelling
First
, a big amount of
people
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern times have social services addiction. Society can't live without notifications on their phones, they
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
badly
Change the word
bad
show examples
, if there is no new message sound on their phones. To add to
this
notifications don't allow us to concentrate and enter the "Hyperfocus" mode, which is essential for our brains to work. The next thing to mention
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is the envy
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
other
people
. When
user
Add an article
a user
the user
show examples
sees
someones
Change noun form
someone's
show examples
photo in an expensive car he wants it too, and
also
he has too much anger
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
a person in
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
car, because
user
Add an article
the user
show examples
thinks: "Why he has it, but I don't?".
As a result
people
slowly are becoming angry, as we know anger leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
depression, anxiety and so on.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
are
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
lying to us
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
everyone can make a photo
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Lamborghini, but it
doesn's
Correct your spelling
doesn't
mean that an individual owns that car.
Besides
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
the
last
, but not least is the thing that social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
are wasting our time, if we do not use them properly and efficiently.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
when
show examples
we are listing TikTok we forget to make some useful
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
for us, for
exapmle
Correct your spelling
example
exercise or
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
some new skills. In conclusion, in my point of view, social websites have more negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
on our society, than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. They
also
missconcentrate
Correct your spelling
miss-concentrate
us,
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
lying to us and
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
on the way of anxiety anger and depression, which slowly are killing us.
Submitted by amur200617 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: