today, more school leavers are unable to find jobs. discuss the causes of rising unemployment among young adults and suggest any solutions.

#school #leavers #jobs #unemployment #adults

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It is common that

school

Use synonyms

graduates are difficult to get

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job

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

and it will increase

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

unemployment rates. I strongly believe in

this

Linking Words

phenomenon where the

government

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and industrial sectors should make a good relationship to tackle

this

Linking Words

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

show examples

To begin

Linking Words

with,

Government

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should take their responsibility to make sure their

people

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can access higher education. Because once they graduated from higher education there will be many options to get a better

job

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. If

people

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only graduated from

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high

school

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, their skills

still

Add a missing verb

are still

show examples

limited and many industries

as well as

Linking Words

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

businesses

tend to see

people

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who have certain skills and capacities to

work

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with.

For example

Linking Words

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

start-up companies

are prefer

Change the verb form

prefer

show examples

to have

Add an article

an employer

show examples

employer

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employers

show examples

that mastering

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apply

show examples

computer science so they can

work

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straight away rather than working with

people

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who only have a

school

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degree.

Hence

Linking Words

, I believe that the more education

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

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have, the more

chooices

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choices

will be open

for

Change preposition

show examples

them.

This

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

will have them

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

increase their quality of life if they have a good

job

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with a good income.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a strong collaboration between companies and

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government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should be made in ensuring that young adults will not leave behind.

This

Linking Words

can be made by providing more

job

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exhibition

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exhibitions

show examples

and

Wrong verb form

sharing

show examples

the information widely so

people

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who want to

work

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straight away after they finish

school

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can access

this

Linking Words

information.

Government

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and industrial sectors

also

Linking Words

can

work

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together in providing

trainings

Change the wording

training

pieces of training

show examples

to encourage them to make their own

bussiness

Correct your spelling

businesses

This

Linking Words

can

benefiting

Change the verb form

benefit

be benefiting

show examples

not only the country because their income will increase

due to

Linking Words

many young

people

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

currently working as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

enterpreneur

Correct your spelling

entrepreneur

, but

also

Linking Words

these young adults can have their own income and provide

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

job

Use synonyms

opportunities for others. To

be conclude

Change the verb form

conclude

show examples

Correct article usage

the govenrment

show examples

govenrment

Correct your spelling

government

and business sectors should have a synergy in making sure that

people

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will be absorbed in

Use synonyms

job

Add an article

the job

show examples

field or making them able to be

enterpreneur

Correct your spelling

entrepreneur

entrepreneurs

that can provide

Use synonyms

Add an article

a job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others.

Submitted by Parayogi on Fri Jul 07 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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today, more school leavers are unable to find jobs. discuss the causes of rising unemployment among young adults and suggest any solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the United Kingdom, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family. g

It is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age, if it possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects such as reading, writing, and math in elementary schools. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?