Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, listening to songs at any time have
been become
Change to the active voice
become
show examples
increasingly popular . In my point of view ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
completely agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
could be a powerful means of uniting
people
Use synonyms
from diverse cultures and age groups . In
this
Linking Words
essay , I will discuss
this
Linking Words
view and support the subject with examples . Emotional resonance
music
Use synonyms
possesses a unique capacity to stir a deep feeling within us . As
this
Linking Words
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to treat their souls after a hard day working .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, being
enroll
Wrong verb form
enrolled
show examples
in these festivals altogether with different communities can build
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spark cultural exchange and evoke an aspiration around the world .
As a result
Linking Words
, spreading cultural traditions is a good approach
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
bringing
people
Use synonyms
from other countries and
expose
Wrong verb form
exposing
show examples
them to our civilization and language .
For example
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
last
Linking Words
studies
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
oxford university clarify that learning a
forgien
Correct your spelling
foreign
language is better by exposure to their songs and lyrics . Another benefits
enhance
Correct pronoun usage
that enhance
show examples
this
Linking Words
notion may refer to bonding intergeneration by
music
Use synonyms
expression .
Consequently
Linking Words
, allowing elder
people
Use synonyms
to be connected with the young ones and strengthen familial and social bondings .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, making these concerts available return much profit to the government budget by increasing the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of tourists and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
it
attractive
Add an article
an attractive
show examples
place to visit . In conclusion , it is undoubtedly that
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
music
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
tremendous merits .
Finally
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
Correct your spelling
strongly
strongely
Correct your spelling
strongly
believe these concerts
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best way for
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
community because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
promote social intergenerational bonding ,build a sense of
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
show examples
and increase
Submitted by dent.hussain97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: