IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many supermarkets are selling more and more products that are imported from other countries instead of selling food that is locally sourced. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#supermarkets #products #countries #food #development
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Supermarkets are increasing the share of imported goods in their inventory
due to
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 several reasons.
First,
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imported
products
Use synonyms
 bring in greater profit than local
products
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due to
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 their higher prices.
Second,
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this
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 strategy leads to increased
overall
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 sales as the target market is the higher-income class which is consumption-oriented.
Lastly
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, it is difficult to refrain from buying these
products
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 when they are readily available,
thus
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, they attract people from other market segments as well. Whether
this
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 development is positive or negative can be established after weighing out the benefits it brings to the economy against its disadvantages. The benefits of
this
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 approach include the availability of a greater variety of
products
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 to the public so that they can raise their standard of living.
Additionally
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, it provides an incentive for foreign investors to set up their businesses in the country with a customer base already established.
This
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 will lead to an inflow of foreign capital within the country. Despite the above-mentioned benefits,
such
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 a practice will be detrimental to the economy in the long run ,especially for developing countries like Pakistan. Taking the example of Pakistan, it has been found that the country is heavily dependent on imports
while
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 exports
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 stagnant since its formation.
Therefore
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, in countries where local items are already facing harsh competition with foreign
products
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, their demand will
further
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 decline.
This
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 problem will be aggravated if foreign businesses
began
Wrong verb form
begin
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 to dump their low-priced goods in the local supermarkets, as they will have the accessibility to do so.
Hence
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, it is established that supermarkets increasing the sale of imported inventory is a negative development.
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure needs improvement. Work on presenting ideas in a more organized and coherent manner.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are evident but need to be more developed to set the stage for the essay and provide a more conclusive end.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported adequately, but the development of ideas could be strengthened for a more thorough response.
task achievement
The response addresses the task requirements adequately and provides relevant examples to support the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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