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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many parents are concerned about the violent computer games or movies or leisure activities. How can this impact children ? What can be done to solve this problem?

#parents #computer #games #movies #leisure #activities #impact #children
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With the development of technology, a lot of
games
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 and
films
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 have appeared.
Although
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 they are very entertaining, some of them are very violent, and they can harm heavily to
children
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, so I think we have to treat
this
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 problem as fast as we can. There are some effects of violent
games
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 and
films
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 I know. The first place is that they affect badly to
children
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’s mentality.
In other words
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, it affects to characters and makes them much more violent and fierce. The second place is that violent
games
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 and
films
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also
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 have an effect on their social life,
children
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 can be addicted to them if they play or watch those
games
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 and movies too often,
moreover
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, not only do not integrate into the community but
also
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 become passive with situations. The final place is that some
children
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 are unable to control themselves, and they can behave rudely or have conflicts with other people, and they can have serious injuries or hospitalisation. To solve that problem, I come up with some treatments. One of them is that we should educate
children
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 about the harms and toxic things of playing or watching violent
games
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 or movies.
In other words
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, we increase the cognitive skills of
children
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. Another additional solution is more outdoor activities.
Children
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 do useful activities and avoid harmful things. From my perspective, violent
games
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 and
films
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 are very toxic and harmful, so
children
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 must be in contact with them.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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