Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

#childhood #obesity #world #people #adverts #food #sweets #snacks #schools #colleges

Childhood obesity is looming over

this

generation as it is affecting over

fourty

Correct your spelling

forty

four

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of teenagers and pre-teens. Some people believe that banning advertisements for junk food is the only way to stop the crisis. I partially agree with

this

statement because a ban will not eradicate the problem completely.

To begin

with, many children are

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

to consumption of

such

snacks because of the heaps of celebrities advertising

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

Christiano Ronaldo

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

refused to drink

coca-cola

Change the capitalization

Coca-Cola

show examples

during an interview which wound up

Change preposition

apply

show examples

losing billions. He has done

this

to prevent kids

seeing

Change preposition

from seeing

show examples

such

acts on tv, as they are very impressionable.

On the other hand

, completely banning

such

promotions in schools and colleges will not stop the problem completely. Many youngsters can view the same ads at home, on their televisions or smartphones.

For instance

, my younger sister who is 10 years old, upon viewing an advertisement for mac donalds, asked me to take her there. Stopping the spread of the obesity epidemic is not something easy, banning all

such

promotions is the way to go.

To conclude

, I think that banning

such

ads entirely is the only way to solve the task at hand.

Submitted by isko_dont_forget on Sat Jul 08 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

199 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
vulnerability
unethical
well-being
commercial gain
cafeteria options
nutritional programs
fast food advertisements
health impacts
influence
educational environment
promote healthier eating habits

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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

lt is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countires women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and, therefore, do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. Do you agree or disagree?

Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.