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Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

#childhood #obesity #world #people #adverts #food #sweets #snacks #schools #colleges
Childhood obesity is looming over
this
 generation as it is affecting over
fourty
Correct your spelling
forty
four
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of teenagers and pre-teens. Some people believe that banning advertisements for junk food is the only way to stop the crisis. I partially agree with
this
 statement because a ban will not eradicate the problem completely.
To begin
 with, many children are
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to consumption of
such
 snacks because of the heaps of celebrities advertising
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 Christiano Ronaldo
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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refused to drink
coca-cola
Change the capitalization
Coca-Cola
show examples
 during an interview which wound up
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
losing billions. He has done
this
 to prevent kids
seeing
Change preposition
from seeing
show examples
such
 acts on tv, as they are very impressionable.
On the other hand
, completely banning
such
 promotions in schools and colleges will not stop the problem completely. Many youngsters can view the same ads at home, on their televisions or smartphones.
For instance
, my younger sister who is 10 years old, upon viewing an advertisement for mac donalds, asked me to take her there. Stopping the spread of the obesity epidemic is not something easy, banning all
such
 promotions is the way to go.
To conclude
, I think that banning
such
 ads entirely is the only way to solve the task at hand.
Submitted by isko_dont_forget on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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