IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #opportunity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is generally believed by society that
money
Use synonyms
 gives
people
Use synonyms
 various opportunities, one of which is helping those in need. I completely agree that wealthy
people
Use synonyms
 can provide financial support to populations who are facing certain monetary problems.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 with high incomes can help children and adults with serious health issues through charity organizations. There are thousands of
people
Use synonyms
 in the world with severe diseases, which require incredibly expensive medical equipment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, few
people
Use synonyms
 can afford to buy medicine themselves
therefore
Linking Words
 a prosperous group of the population can donate their
money
Use synonyms
 to charities which track
people
Use synonyms
 in need and resend required sums of
money
Use synonyms
 to the hospitals.
For instance
Linking Words
, as far as I know, Angelina Jolie is famous for sending a great portion of her earnings to charity organizations thereby saving lives.
In addition
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 mortal diseases or
accidents
Add a comma
,accidents
show examples
 many children lose their parents every day being left without a trustee.
As a result
Linking Words
, these youngsters find themselves in orphanages. From my point of view, they need financial support to get appropriate education to be able to find a job in the future and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
enter adulthood without much difficulty.
For example
Linking Words
, rich
people
Use synonyms
 can create grand for children of school age who have lost parents or the only breadwinner of the family to motivate them to study hard.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 is a key factor in providing assistance to
people
Use synonyms
 who have encountered problems and cannot tackle them on their own.
Submitted by spiritedaway_3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
What to do next:
Look at other essays: