Some people believe that women should be able to join their country's army and police forces. Others think that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the cutting-edge era, is commonly seeing
femenines
Correct your spelling
feminines
feminine
joining the armed and
policial
Correct your spelling
police
political
forces, a phenomenon that became popular within the
las
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
20 years.
this
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has been a battle for inclusion. even if some people believe
this
is a fantastic
ptogression
Correct your spelling
progression
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
femenism
Change noun form
femenism's
show examples
rights .
however
, I would argue that women should find another field to develop a career. Nowadays, criminals
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
to be more prepared, well armed and even trained to do their banned activities, data has shown that there is a higher number of armed and
policial
Correct your spelling
police
political
officers that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
been resulting injured in the streets by criminals, being the women the most affected,
due to
the fact that females physical
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
is consider
Change the verb form
is considered
show examples
by science lower
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
mens
Correct your spelling
means
men's
physical capacity , it has been proved that physiologically and biologically men and
womend
Correct your spelling
women
are build and designed differently. It is my belief that
femenines
Correct your spelling
feminines
feminine
should
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
those roles in
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
find
themselvs
Correct your spelling
themselves
exposed to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
assaulted by
ciminals
Correct your spelling
criminals
, to prevent
accidentes
Correct your spelling
accidents
or injuries, they should be placed to work inside of the institutions, performing office or investigation roles in the police
departmet
Correct your spelling
department
or armed forces, it is of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
paramount importance that the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
ensure that all their
femenines
Correct your spelling
feminines
feminine
are well protected and
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
safe.
to sum up
, I think that
femenines
Correct your spelling
feminists
should play more
administratives
Correct your spelling
administrative
roles
instead
of active duty services in the
steets
Correct your spelling
streets
, to prevent being an easy target to criminals.
Submitted by marjorie2908 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: