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Band 4.5

The diagram shows the life cycle of the honey bee.

The diagram shows the life cycle of the honey bee.
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The process illustrates the main stages which take place in the
life
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cycle
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 of a
honey
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bee
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. In general, there are four main stages in the development of the
honey
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bee
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 from egg to mature adult insect and the complete
life
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cycle
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 lasts for about 34-36
days
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
life
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cycle
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 of the
honey
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bee
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 begins when the female adult lays 1 or 2 eggs every three
days
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. After 9 and 10
days
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, each egg hatches and the nymph appear. During the third stage of the
life
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cycle
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, the nymph grows in size and sheds its skin three times before growing up.
This
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 moulting first takes place 5
days
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 after the egg hatches,
then
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 7
days
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 later, and again another 9
days
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 later. After a total of 30 to 31
days
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 from the start of the
cycle
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, the young adult
honey
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bee
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 emerges from its final moulting stage.
Finally
Linking Words
, between 34 and 36
days
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 from the beginning, it reaches full maturity. And
then
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, the
honey
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bee
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’s
life
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cycle
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 starts again when the female
bee
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 lays eggs.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words life, cycle, honey, bee, days with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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