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Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
Nowadays,
science
 makes our
lives
 more and more convenient and people improve their
lives
 quality
while
 enjoying the advantages brought by
science
. In my opinion,
science
 can indeed improve people's
lives
 to a great extent. First of all, it takes us a shorter
time
 to find useful information. With the popularization of the
Internet
, people can find what they want in a very short
time
.
For example
, I am a college undergraduate and it is
time
 to apply for a master. There are countless famous universities around the world so it is impossible to get the knowledge of my ideal ones without the
Internet
. Thanks to the
Internet
 helping me find the most significant information in
such
 a short
time
. What's more, the use of
science
 has made it possible for us to take care of our families anytime, anywhere. Recently IoT (
Internet
 of Things)
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 widely used on a large scale.
For instance
, if our family have some ill family members and we are not at home for some seasons, the installation of a camera using the principle of IoT can help us look after their conditions under constant surveillance. We have to admit that
science
 can increase our happiness.
Last
 but not least,
science
 can help us better recognize the world and the universe. Several hundred years ago, the telescope invented by Galileo
gives
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 us the chance to observe shining plants and stars more clearly. Today, we have fulfilled the dream of our predecessors to land on the moon or other planets. Whether it is from Google Earth or photos returned from the space station, we have a deeper understanding of the world and the universe. In conclusion,
science
 helps us a lot in different aspects of our
lives
. We need to explore and develop
science
 uninterruptedly in order to give our offspring a better tomorrow.
Submitted by ykx20010330 on

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Content
The essay provides a good argument and supports it reasonably well, yet, some examples used could be more specific to the point being made.
Detail
Try to develop the examples a bit more. They are good, but could provide more detail.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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