Nowadays, people are moving to other countries to seek jobs. Some people think it affects the children of such home negativity while some others think it is beneficial to them. Discuss both sides and state your opinion

#people #countries #jobs #children #home #negativity

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People are migrating to find occupations these days. It is widely argued that

this

Linking Words

would be beneficial for

childern

Correct your spelling

children

whereas

Linking Words

, many believe that attending a new

country

Use synonyms

has its own problems. personally speaking, I believe there is a vast number of opportunities for

this

Linking Words

age group. Some people say that the migration of job seekers will bring negative impacts for

thier

Correct your spelling

their

children

Use synonyms

. they argue

childern

Correct your spelling

children

will face some problems in connecting with native

children

Use synonyms

. Because of

language

Add an article

the language

a language

show examples

barrier,

establish

Wrong verb form

establishing

show examples

a relationship would be difficult in many

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

and places

such

Linking Words

as schools or gyms. It usually brings

further

Linking Words

issues

for example

Linking Words

depression and isolation.

In addition

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

and

adolecsents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

are influenced by the culture of the host

country

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and as

show examples

a result, they

loose

Replace the word

lose

show examples

their identity.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the other idea points out: being in another

country

Use synonyms

has many plus points for families

as well as

Linking Words

their

children

Use synonyms

Children

Use synonyms

could benefit

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

a high level of educational services. Regardless, they will have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

access

Change preposition

show examples

various job opportunities.

This

Linking Words

will help them for having a high quality of life,

as a result

Linking Words

, they will not steer to criminal activities. The other merit is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they can meet other nationalities, what is more, could make

storng

Correct your spelling

strong

ties.

This

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condition

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

Change preposition

to a

show examples

peaceful society in every

country

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. In conclusion,

although

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it is said that the movement of parents to another

country

Use synonyms

, causes many cons for their

children

Use synonyms

, the other opinion which says

this

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migration has a significant number of positives for

children

Use synonyms

seems to be more logical and acceptable.

Submitted by darkred6171 on Sun Jul 09 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional stability
academic progress
emotional distress
gain employment
educational journey
exposure to diverse cultures
financial stability
worldview
enhanced earnings
quality of life
mitigate
interventions
comprehensive
enriching development

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Nowadays, people are moving to other countries to seek jobs. Some people think it affects the children of such home negativity while some others think it is beneficial to them. Discuss both sides and state your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believed that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven year old. other believe that it is important for your children to go to school as soon as possible. what do you thing are the advantages of attending school from young children.

As we are facing more and more problems, which affect the whole planet, good relationships between different countries are becoming more important than ever before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, uses and trucks will be dirverless. This only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advatages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some countries are struggling with an increase rate in crime. Many people think that increasing police on the roads is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree ?

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment such as coursework and projects is not a satisfactory way to do this. Do you agree or disagree?