The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.
The chart
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
an analysis of
Change the article
an
the
show examples
annual number of rental and
sales
of films,
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
paticular
Correct your spelling
particular
store in the nine-years period ranging from 2002 to 2011. The study classified subjects into rentals, VHS , DVD,
blue
Correct word choice
and blue
show examples
ray
sales
.
Overall
, it is clear to see that there were changes in the assessment, indicating that most of
Add an article
the choice
show examples
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
were DVD
sales
, despite the drop
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
numbers. In 2002 the rental
sales
started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
180.000
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
after that decrease
gradualy
Correct your spelling
gradually
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
55.000 in 2011.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
DVD
sales
where were the less amount
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
year
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
45.000 and in 2007 hit a pic
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
a
schoking
Correct your spelling
shocking
choking
rate of 205.000,
then
started
declined
Change the verb form
to decline
show examples
steadily by 2011. Contrasting, the VHS sale in 2002
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
being
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
choice, rating around 85.000.
However
, it were dropping until not
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
this
type of sale in 2006. Despite
this
, the blue rays just started
sales
after 2007 and
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose
gradualy
Correct your spelling
gradually
in little numbers, finalized in 2011 with 12.000 of choice.
Submitted by tatianakerches on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trend
  • Rentals
  • Sales
  • Formats
  • VHS (Video Home System)
  • DVD (Digital Versatile Disc)
  • Blu-ray
  • Peak
  • Decline
  • Rise
  • Market changes
  • Digital downloads
  • Physical formats
  • Over the years
  • Annual
  • Comparison
  • Impact
  • Technological advancements
  • Shift
  • Predictions
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