The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

#rentals #sales #formats #films #store

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The chart

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

an analysis of

Change the article

the

show examples

annual number of rental and

sales

Use synonyms

of films,

among

Change preposition

show examples

paticular

Correct your spelling

particular

store in the nine-years period ranging from 2002 to 2011. The study classified subjects into rentals, VHS , DVD,

blue

Correct word choice

and blue

show examples

ray

sales

Use synonyms

Overall

Linking Words

, it is clear to see that there were changes in the assessment, indicating that most of

Add an article

the choice

show examples

choice

Fix the agreement mistake

choices

show examples

were DVD

sales

Use synonyms

, despite the drop

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

numbers. In 2002 the rental

sales

Use synonyms

started

with

Change preposition

show examples

180.000

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

after that decrease

gradualy

Correct your spelling

gradually

until

Change preposition

show examples

55.000 in 2011.

However

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

DVD

sales

Use synonyms

where were the less amount

Change preposition

show examples

first

Correct article usage

the first

show examples

year

with

Change preposition

show examples

45.000 and in 2007 hit a pic

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

schoking

Correct your spelling

shocking

choking

rate of 205.000,

then

Linking Words

started

declined

Change the verb form

to decline

show examples

steadily by 2011. Contrasting, the VHS sale in 2002

start

Wrong verb form

started

show examples

being

second

Change the article

the second

show examples

choice, rating around 85.000.

However

Linking Words

, it were dropping until not

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

this

Linking Words

type of sale in 2006. Despite

this

Linking Words

, the blue rays just started

sales

Use synonyms

after 2007 and

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

rose

gradualy

Correct your spelling

gradually

in little numbers, finalized in 2011 with 12.000 of choice.

Submitted by tatianakerches on Sun Jul 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

164 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Trend
Rentals
Sales
Formats
VHS (Video Home System)
DVD (Digital Versatile Disc)
Blu-ray
Peak
Decline
Rise
Market changes
Digital downloads
Physical formats
Over the years
Annual
Comparison
Impact
Technological advancements
Shift
Predictions

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Your company has recently introduced a new uniform for the staff. But you have learned that the staff members are not happy about it. Write a letter to your manager about it. In your letter, •explain why you think the staffs are not happy with the new uniform •what you want the new uniform to be like •and give some suggestions to handle the situation
I am writing this letter to regard your company has introduced a new uniform for the staff, but several of the staff members is not happy about it. And i represent all the employees to send this letter for you
7.5
band
The precentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.
The number of young generations in Western countries who are suffering from obesity has a 20% increase over the last decade. There seem to be two main effects stemming from this issue and some reasons are behind it which will be discussed in this essay.
<4
band
The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.
Health is,always considered by many, a precious gift to all of us. In this day and age, people's average health standard is supposed to be decreasing in the coming days as compared to now. I strongly support this notion and this essay will discuss why the average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now with relevant reasons and illustrations.
<4
band
the chart below shoes yje changes that took place in three different areas of crime in newport city center from 2003 to 2012
The chart presents the diffrences in number of incidents in newport city categorized by type of crime (bulglary, car theft and robbery) throughout 10 years period - from 2003 to 2012. Overall, the burglary rate saw significant dropped through the 10 years period while the rates of car theft and robbery remain stable over the same period.
6.5
band
In some parts of world , it’s becoming increasingly popular to try to find out the history of their own family, why do you think people do this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, the desire to explore the records about inherited lines of descent is gradually attracting more attention from people, which is connected with their curiosity to gather information about their ancestors’ habits. From my perspective, this tendency is beneficial, as it will contribute to finding out different health problems in family trees and eliminate their adverse consequences in the early stage.

The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

The precentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

the chart below shoes yje changes that took place in three different areas of crime in newport city center from 2003 to 2012

In some parts of world , it’s becoming increasingly popular to try to find out the history of their own family, why do you think people do this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?