IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

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Working long
hours
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 and
less
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fewer
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 leisure
activities
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 is considered a dangerous working style. People following
such
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 a practice can surely earn a lot more money and
hence
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 can afford an affluent lifestyle, but the prominent question is, is it sustainable and
benificial
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beneficial
 for
such
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 individuals? Some research papers suggest that people spending less time on fun
activities
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 experience increased stress and have a poor work-life balance.
First,
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we will
breifly
Correct your spelling
briefly
 discuss
about
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apply
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the advantages of long working
hours
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, and later we will expand on
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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 that stand if we skip leisure
activities
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. Working overtime can help you earn additional money and might help you
building
Wrong verb form
build
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 good repo with your boss,
also
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labeling
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labelling
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 you as a
hard working
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hard-working
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 employee.
Furthermore
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, you can afford an affluent lifestyle with the additional stream of money coming in for overtime.
For example
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, you can plan an expensive yearly vacation in a foreign country. But constantly long working
hours
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 pattern is not sustainable. If you regularly work overtime, you will feel a rush of
anxity
Correct your spelling
anxiety
 and increased levels of stress.
Imbalanced
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An imbalanced
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 work-life style, without taking necessary breaks for hobbies and fun
activities
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, can eventually cause
loss
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a loss
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 of interest in professional life. Recharging batteries is essential for all humans by participating in other entertaining
activities
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. As recommended by many professional health experts,
excercise
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exercise
exercises
 and
activities
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 like meditation can significantly improve our focus and motivation
in
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at
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 work.
Thus
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, in conclusion, I would say long working
hours
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 and less time for leisure have more disadvantages than a handful of advantages. Hobbies and fun
activities
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 recharge our batteries and help us more with work than staying late and burning candles at both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ends.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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