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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

rease number of people are choosing to change careers during their working lives and some even do so more than once. what reason might people have to change careers ? do you think this a positive or negative development for society

rease number of people are choosing to change careers during their working lives and some even do so more than once. what reason might people have to change careers ? do you think this a positive or negative development for society
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Many
people
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 believe that to overcome their daily needs some of them choose to change their
job
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 and do many
tasks
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 than
focus
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 on
one
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 career. I believe that to more
focus
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 on
one
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 occupation is better than doing many
tasks
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 to overcome their needs because
this
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 will lead to some negative
impact
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 on their lives.
This
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 writing will explain why
people
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 should
focus
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 just on
one
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job
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 to fulfil theirs’s needs. The main disadvantage
impact
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 is decreasing in quality of
work
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. The quality of
work
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,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
job
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 performance that
people
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 do in the workplace
such
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 as discipline , ability in finishing the
tasks
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 given and teamwork, is the essential aspect needed by a firm. A person who has two jobs or more in their life will decrease the
focus
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 on
tasks
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 that they do.
As a result
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, they will postpone many
tasks
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 given.
For example
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, a teacher
due to
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 having less income takes extra time after school to do another
job
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such
Linking Words
 as a driver. It will
impact
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 his bad performance and less discipline in offering students in the school. Another drawback of having more than
one
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job
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 is a Decrease in physical and mental health. The energy that they need will decrease
due to
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 performing more than
one
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 task, and some physical diseases can occur during working on those
tasks
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.
For example
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, a nurse who is doing extra time after
work
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 in the hospital reported undergoing exhaustion and diarrhoea.
Besides
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 that, they experience anxiety and stress during
work
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. In conclusion, more
focus
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 on
one
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 occupation is a paramount aspect in
people
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's live beside lead a negative physical
impact
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 it
also
Linking Words
 increases mental health drawbacks in fulfilling their needs.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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