IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Houses are essential for people. Some people think that the government should offer free houses for people who cannot afford to pay for it. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#houses #people #government #offer #afford
In recent years,
due to
 the rapid development of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
, the price of
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 has been increasing,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
 and more
people
 cannot afford to buy or
rent
.
However
, as a necessity, a
house
 is dispensable. I think the
government
 should provide housing for
people
 who can’t afford it.
This
 can be known by analyzing different
people
’s degrees and where they live. I think the first one is that
people
 can’t afford housing because of their
education
.
Due to
 the lack of serious
education
 during the teenage years, some
people
 do not listen to the teacher in class, and after class, they only want to play.
This
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 in a very low level of
education
. Many
people
 even only after graduation from primary and middle school can only engage
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
 simple work, so the monthly income is low because it does not require much mental work.
This
meager
Change the spelling
meagre
show examples
 income
also
 needs to support a person’s food and transportation expenses for a month and so on. So, there is less money to buy a
house
 or
rent
 a
house
.
As a result
, sometimes the
government
 should give a hand. The second reason is the geographical environment. In some big
cities
Add a comma
,cities
show examples
 their economy is developing very fast, but the total area of the city is very small, so it is more difficult to buy or
rent
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 where there is little money. In some cases, a month's
rent
 is two- or
three-times
Correct your spelling
three times
show examples
 what
people
 with decent jobs in the area earn in a month, a person who doesn’t earn very little can’t do
this
 either. But in order to live there, the
government
 should help. In conclusion, the
government
 should provide housing for the above
people
 who are poorly educated because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
education
 and for those who cannot afford to buy a
house
 because of geography.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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