The two pie charts illustrate percantage of some employment patterns by sex and occupation in Great Britain in 1992.

#two #percantage #employment #patterns #sex #occupation #britain

The two pie charts illustrate

Correct article usage

the percantage

show examples

percantage

Correct your spelling

percentage

of some employment patterns by sex and occupation in Great Britain in 1992.

Overall

, it can be seen that more

males

worked

Change preposition

apply

show examples

manual

jobs

Whereas

, non-manual

jobs

appealed

for

Change preposition

show examples

females. In regard to manual

jobs

, more

males

than females

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

worked 52 per

cent

and 31 per

cent

respectively.

According to

other manual

jobs

, the indicator between

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

and

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

can

seen

Change the verb form

be seen

show examples

to be equal,

aro9und

Correct your spelling

around

27 per

cent

to 26 per

cent

. In any case, the demand for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

general labourers is low, than

other

Change preposition

for other

show examples

works

Replace the word

workers

show examples

On the other hand

non manual

Add a hyphen

non-manual

show examples

occupations were more popular among women at 69 per

cent

in contrast

to 48 per

cent

among

males

However

, more

males

were positioned managerial and professional

works

Replace the word

workers

show examples

than women, 36 per

cent

and 29 per

cent

respectively. The proportion of females in clerical or related works exceeded that of

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

, at 31 per

cent

and 6

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

Submitted by dnm.best on Tue Jul 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words males, jobs, cent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In many parts of the world, there is not enough food for everyone. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
In these days, most of the world everyone does not have enough food while others keep diet to be on form. This essay will introduce what are causes for tham and how can we solve this problem in modern world.
4.5
band
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is traffic on roads. Traffic on roads has become a problem in the world. It is undeniable that cars has become an essential part of our life
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is traffic on roads. Traffic on roads has become a problem in the world. It is undeniable that cars has become an essential part of our life. However, these days we have problems with traffic and the amount of cars in the world.
5
band
In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?
In today’s world, more and more people who graduate with high qualifications now become unemployed. In my opinion, the reasons for this situation are the lack of work-related skills and the high expectation in these adults and the solution is to add more soft skill courses into universities’ curriculum.
<4
band
The picture shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Overall, when people throw away the used cans in the trash. The car that takes away the cans will come to recycle it. Then, the cans will be cleaned, sort, shred, and compress in the machine. After it was put in the machine, it was heated and melted to turn into a roll again. Then, the rolling will stick to the cans, and the cans are reused.
7
band
Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development, however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Improving the standard of living based on economic development is going to be popular in the majority of countries, which leads to a loss of social values. However, benefits can manage dozens of obstacles for each country leading to economic progress .

The two pie charts illustrate percantage of some employment patterns by sex and occupation in Great Britain in 1992.

In many parts of the world, there is not enough food for everyone. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is traffic on roads. Traffic on roads has become a problem in the world. It is undeniable that cars has become an essential part of our life

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

The picture shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development, however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?