The two pie charts illustrate percantage of some employment patterns by sex and occupation in Great Britain in 1992.

#two #percantage #employment #patterns #sex #occupation #britain

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The two pie charts illustrate

Correct article usage

the percantage

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percantage

Correct your spelling

percentage

of some employment patterns by sex and occupation in Great Britain in 1992.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that more

males

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worked

Change preposition

apply

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manual

jobs

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Whereas

Linking Words

, non-manual

jobs

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appealed

for

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show examples

females. In regard to manual

jobs

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, more

males

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than females

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

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worked 52 per

cent

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and 31 per

cent

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respectively.

According to

Linking Words

other manual

jobs

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, the indicator between

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

and

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

can

seen

Change the verb form

be seen

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to be equal,

aro9und

Correct your spelling

around

27 per

cent

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to 26 per

cent

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. In any case, the demand for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

general labourers is low, than

other

Change preposition

for other

show examples

works

Replace the word

workers

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

non manual

Add a hyphen

non-manual

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occupations were more popular among women at 69 per

cent

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in contrast

Linking Words

to 48 per

cent

Use synonyms

among

males

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, more

males

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were positioned managerial and professional

works

Replace the word

workers

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than women, 36 per

cent

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and 29 per

cent

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respectively. The proportion of females in clerical or related works exceeded that of

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

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, at 31 per

cent

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and 6

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

Submitted by dnm.best on Tue Jul 11 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words males, jobs, cent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

157 words

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The two pie charts illustrate percantage of some employment patterns by sex and occupation in Great Britain in 1992.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that liking your job is more important than how much money you earn while others think that your salary is more important than how much you like your job. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that big companies should provide sports and social facilities for the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TASK 2 Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?