The graph below shows the number of library books read by boys and girls at Starmouth School from 2006 to the present.

#library #books #boys #girls #starmouth #school

The supplied illustration of graph presents information about

quantity

Add an article

the quantity

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of library

books

read by male and female students at Starmouth School

coomencing

Correct your spelling

commencing

from 2006 until

present

Add an article

the present

show examples

time.

Overall

, it is obvious that

last

year girls have been reading more

books

comparitively

Correct your spelling

comparatively

to boys. It is conspicuous that in 2009 ladies had read

for

Change preposition

apply

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books

less than the opposite gender.

Moreover

, by 2010 boys had read 80

books

while

girls

Change noun form

girls'

girl's

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progress composed only 40

books

. It is worth noticing that over the period of one

year

Add a comma

,year

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both genders began to read the same amount of publications,

however

, by 2012 girls read 140

books

while

men's progress dropped by 80

books

. Getting back to the details,

it is clear that

within a time span of 3

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

female side of

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

move upward in reading library novels and reached the amount of 140 manuals.

Submitted by amina07id on Tue Jul 11 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

143 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows the number of library books read by boys and girls at Starmouth School from 2006 to the present.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extend do you agree?