Shopping is become more and more popular as leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects? Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its popularity have on individuals and on society?

#leisure #activity #people #effects #popularity #individuals #society

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There are increasing numbers of shopping

mall

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malls

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around the world. If you have a chance to go to New York, Tokyo or London..., you will see many mega shopping malls there. One of the reasons why shopping become so popular is we want to show ourselves as rich, have a good life, more beautiful than others.

This

trend has an impact on individuals and society. Nowadays,many people have the tendency to buy stuff in online shopping and

also

in shopping

mall

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malls

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as well.

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

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companies now are trying to advertise more of their new products in order to attract the customer. They advertised everywhere: in the street, on YouTube or on all social media.

Secondly

, online shopping company knows how to advertise what we need through our online history

such

as Amazon, they know how to increase selling the product. Everyone wants to prove themselves they are the best and sometimes they buy stuff without any need. Nowadays, we can call the trend of shopping "drug". If we see the young life right now, we will see they consume a lot of things

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

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with the old generation. Because now we produce a lot of stuff to consume and when they feel lonely or stressed, they will have the tendency to find something to cover up their loneliness or stress. Whenever we buy something, we will feel happy right away because the dopamine will increase after we receive something that we hope

Change preposition

for.

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That makes us consume more than we need.

To conclude

, I think we may to balance our shopping. We have to see do we need it or not before we buy it and we have to see our future through saving money.

Submitted by troihongbang on Tue Jul 11 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure activity
consumer culture
emotional satisfaction
consumerism
advertising influence
online shopping platforms
sense of pleasure
social interaction
boost the economy
compulsive shopping
materialism
environmental degradation
unsustainable demand
social inequalities
status through possessions

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Shopping is become more and more popular as leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects? Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its popularity have on individuals and on society?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

New research showed that overeating has become bigger problem in the world than hunger. What are the reasons of this problem? How can solve it?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while other believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. discuss both views and give your opinion.

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words.