IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say History is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are several arguments among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 about the importance of different
subjects
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 in our modern world.
While
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 think
history
Use synonyms
 should be the major subject in schools, others say
science
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 and
technology
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subjects
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 are more important.
This
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 essay totally agrees with the second.
People
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 who think
history
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 should be taught strictly in
the
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apply
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schools often argue that historical knowledge can help
to
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apply
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people
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do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not
repeat
Fix the infinitive
to repeat
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 the mistakes made in past times. They believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 knowledge of
history
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 enables
to
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apply
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people
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,
specially
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especially
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, politicians to find solutions to political problems
with
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by
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 analyzing
policies
Correct article usage
the policies
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 of historical personalities. Clearly,
this
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 can help
people
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 to see the bigger picture, serve their country proudly and feel the patriotism in their blood.
For example
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, governments
which their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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 boundaries
surrounded
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are surrounded
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with
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by
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 enemy
countries
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 can fix the mistakes made by past rulers of these
countries
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 and create peaceful
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 with diplomatic moves. Despite the understandable reasons why
people
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 believe
history
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 should be the most important
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subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
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 in school, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
history
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 is less important than
science
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 and
technology
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subjects
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. I think, in recent times, governments can achieve great
successes
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success
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 with the help of
science
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 and
technology
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 in every field of
country
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the country
a country
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 with
improvement
Add an article
the improvement
an improvement
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 of
science
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 and
technology
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. Clearly,
countries
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 without good technological and scientific development will be behind
of
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apply
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other
countries
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 and that will cause
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
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 problems
to
Change preposition
for
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population
Correct article usage
the population
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.
For example
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, significant progress in artificial intelligence can help governments to increase production and improve their health care system.
This
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 is the reason why these
subjects
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 should be promoted more than
history
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 and
the
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apply
show examples
other
subjects
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 for the sake of society. In conclusion,
subjects
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such
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 as
science
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 and
technology
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 will play a key role in the development of quality of life in societies.
For
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this
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 reason, schools should focus more on these
subjects
Use synonyms
, rather than giving all attention to the
subjects
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such
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 as
History
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.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
What to do next:
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