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Writing Samples
Band 3

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university’s #sports #centre #redevelopment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps illustrate the new developments in the university
sports
Use synonyms
centre
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 layout between the present and
thefuture
Correct your spelling
the future
.
Overall
Linking Words
, a comparison of the two layouts of the university
sports
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centre
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 reveals a complete transformation from outdoor
courts
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 to more facilities in the
centre
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.
In
Change preposition
At
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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present, the university
sports
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centre
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 has a lot of outdoor
courts
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 around the
centre
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 of the
pool
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;
however
Linking Words
, in the future, these
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
courts
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 will undergo a number of significant changes.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 all the outdoor
courts
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 on the west side of the
centre
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pool
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 will be demolished and replaced by a
sports
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 shop, another changing room, and a leisure
pool
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the outdoor
courts
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, which were placed east of the
centre
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pool
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, will be developed into more facilities.
Further
Linking Words
 developments will be constructed,
such
Linking Words
 as a café and changing room on the left side of the entrance. The gym room will be enlarged, and
at the end
Linking Words
 of it, two dance studios will be installed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a huge
sports
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 hall will be established, where you can play a range of different
sports
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer introduction that better outlines the main changes and features of the redevelopment plan. A brief overview that highlights the significant transformation helps to set the tone of your description.
task achievement
Expand on the comparison between 'now' and 'after redevelopment'; it’s crucial to emphasize the differences and the purpose behind these changes. Mentioning how the new facilities, like the sports shop and leisure pool, contribute to the sports centre’s goals can enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, organize your essay more logically. Start by describing the current layout in one paragraph, follow with the future developments in a second paragraph, and conclude with a synthesis or an overall impression in a final paragraph. This structure helps the reader follow your description more easily.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of connectives and transition words to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly. Words like 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'in contrast' can help to weave your points together more cohesively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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