Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Discussions about who
responsible
for Add a missing verb
is responsible
upbringing
of children as good members of society - Add an article
the upbringing
parents
or teachers is
relevant and multi-layered. Change the verb form
are
However
, there is no absolute agreement on whether school
or home should teach that.
A commonly held belief is that family is the first and most essential institution of socialisation. Kids from early childhood absorbs
models of behaviour, moral guidelines and attitude. As evidence Change the verb form
absorb
to
Change preposition
of
this
they point to copying Add a comma
this,
attitudes
of Correct article usage
the attitudes
parents
by kid
. If Fix the agreement mistake
kids
child
sees that one of the Add an article
a child
the child
parent
throws trash on the ground, not in the bin, immediately, Change to a plural noun
parents
child
will reflect Add an article
the child
a child
this
in his behaviour in society.
In addition
to this
, parents
better know child’s
features of character and can Correct article usage
the child’s
handover
moral values by trusting relationships. Correct your spelling
hand over
For example
, I used to tell
about every problem with my classmates to my mother. My mom listened and gave me Verb problem
talk
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
how
to solve conflicts. Change preposition
on how
Due to
that
I learned to understand people better and deal with problems calmly.
Add a comma
that,
On the other hand
, some people claim that educational institutions created
for transferring knowledge, but Add a missing verb
are created
plays
an important role in forming personality and moral values. Correct subject-verb agreement
play
Moreover
, teachers have professional ability in teaching kids,
and can instil social skills, Remove the comma
apply
such
as teamwork, conflict resolution and respect to
the rules.
Change preposition
for
In addition
, in schools
pupils Add a comma
schools,
contacts
with different types of personalities, which helps them to understand how Change the verb form
contact
behave
in various situations and how to resolve problems Add the particle
to behave
in
Change preposition
apply
collective
. As an example, schools often organise projects related to teamwork. Change the word
collectively
Me
, personally, learned to connect with studentsCorrect pronoun usage
I
,
and accept various opinions. It helped me to be more sociable and tolerant.
In conclusion, both views have weighty arguments, but I believe that Remove the comma
apply
best
results come, when Correct article usage
the best
parents
and school
work together. Fix the agreement mistake
schools
Parents
should build the basics of behaviour, and school
develop Fix the agreement mistake
schools
this
skills and expand Correct determiner usage
these
horizons
of kids, preparing them for life in a wider society. Importantly, Correct article usage
the horizons
that
parenting should be unstoppable at home Correct word choice
apply
as well as
in school
.Submitted by dnm.best on
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grammar and mechanics
There are occasional grammatical issues and awkward phrasing that can affect clarity. For example, 'kids from early childhood absorbs models of behaviour' should be 'kids from early childhood absorb models of behaviour.' Some sentences are also overly complex or poorly structured, which can affect readability. Simplify where possible and proofread carefully.
development
Make sure to consistently develop each main idea fully. For instance, mention specific ways teachers instill moral values and social skills, beyond teamwork and respect for rules. Providing more detailed examples and elaboration can strengthen your argument.
style and variety
Some of your sentence structures can be varied to enhance readability and interest. Currently, several sentences begin with similar phrases or structures, which can make your writing feel repetitive. Combine sentences or use different starting points to add variety.
content
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and clearly expresses your own opinion. This shows a good understanding of the topic and effective organization of thoughts.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, making it clear what will be discussed and summarizing your main points well. This aids reader understanding and gives your essay a professional feel.
evidence and support
You've included relevant, personal examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments and make them more compelling. This is a strong aspect of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.