Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While
some individuals believe that parents
should teach children about wrong and right deeds, others think that it is the duty of the school. The public, who agree with the first opinion, point to the fact that parents
are the closest people
in the life of the children and, of course, the most important people
. Whereas
, others explain their point of view by saying that students spend most of their time in school and that teachers
have an influence on their trainees. I agree with the first statement.
A commonly held belief is that parents
are closer to their youngsters than everyone else, so, they should provide them with a good upbringing. For example
in a simple life, parents
can control their youths without any limits, so, there are no other influencers in the lives of their minors until they become conscious. Furthermore
, parents
are the main roles of their children. The explanation lies in the fact that the first teachers
of the child are the parents
, so, they have to teach them how to be good members of society, because, there is no one else that could have it done. For instance
, as statistics suggest orphans, who were brought up in schools, are mostly involved in crimes than their peers who have both parents
.
On the other hand
, some people
contend that students spend most of their time in school, because of which, this
is the place, where these pupils should be learned about moral principles. For example
, they may mention that usually, students spend 18 hours in the study area. In addition
, the teachers
affect their learners. As evidence of this
, they point to the words of Edward Barney, who said-” teachers
underlook their abilities to affect the students”.
In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account supporters of the given topic claim that parents
are the closest and the most influential individuals in the vitality of the child, whereas
, on the other hand
, people
, who have the opposite opinion, mention that pupils spend the main share of their time in academies and influenced mostly by their teacher.Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
Ensure a clear and concise introduction that directly addresses the prompt and outlines your viewpoint clearly. Your introduction is important, but could be made more direct by stating your opinion more clearly from the outset.
task achievement
Expand your discussion by providing more detailed and varied examples. While you have provided some examples, deeper and more varied evidence could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on developing a more balanced discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion. Each perspective should be explored with equal depth and consideration.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point, using linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument. This has been done well, but there is room for improvement especially in transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Improve your conclusion by summarizing both views and your own opinion more succinctly. This will help reinforce your argument and provide a clear resolution for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and keep the reader engaged. Varying your sentence length and complexity can make your writing more dynamic.