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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people are choosing to move to cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #move #cities #trend
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Moving to
cities
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,
also
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 known as
urbanisation
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, is a phenomenon where loads of
people
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 from rural areas move closer to the heart of a city. In common, the
urbanisation
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 movement is done to reach a goal; a better financial situation for the family in order to fulfil the basic needs for daily life. Most
people
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 who grew up in rural areas do not get equally proper education at an early age.
Thus
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, they are likely not able to step higher into getting a better job to support the family's financial condition.
People
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 believed that moving to the
cities
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 would create a better future for the family. Truth be told, it is not just a mere grapevine heard by the
people
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. There are a lot of stories from successful workers from poor financial
family status
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families
show examples
 who managed to help their families get into a better life. But, certainly,
disadvantages
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 come with advantages. It appears that serious
disadvantages
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 of
urbanisation
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 have steadily piled up. The super crowded city as an impact of
urbanisation
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 is one of the
disadvantages
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 that surrounds us. Sure, as
people
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 flood the capital and the industry area, the economic growth
must
Verb problem
will
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 likely
become
Verb problem
apply
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significantly
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
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. But if there are too many
people
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, it makes it hard to '
breath
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breathe
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' in a city that never sleeps. Air and sound pollution is getting more and more concerning as the usage of vehicles like motorcycles and cars is increasing. Yet,
urbanisation
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 is still happening today.
People
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 move to the
cities
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while
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 bringing hope and desperation to their
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
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 ones.
Therefore
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, one could say that the advantages of
this
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 trend have outweighed the
disadvantages
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, as the fulfilment of basic needs is still considered hard for many
people
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. If the government
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 fix
this
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 situation, it will encourage more
people
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 to keep coming to the
cities
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 in the future.
Submitted by nadiasyifaa on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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