Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
think that public equipment increasing is beneficial for domestic
health
while
others other think that we should use other methods to replace it. I prefer to
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
way to strengthen domestic
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
but not public sports
facilities
. Now lifestyle is the main cause that
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
the
facilities
effect. Many
people
choose to enjoy their holiday at home, by the
way
Add the comma(s)
,way
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such
as playing video games,
falling
Correct word choice
and falling
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asleep as well, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they lack time in using
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
to keep
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
fit. In
this
situation, manufacturing
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
by governments, ignoring cities’ demand, has no impact on domestic
health
because citizens would not go
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
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to break comfortable zones.
This
would be a waste of resources like human
labours
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labour
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, materials, land usage and so on Compared with increasing
facilities
, organizing
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities can improve public
health
better. Government can organize
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
, like domestic
marathon
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marathons
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, making cities attend in a group.
People
will gain energy and inspiration to finish
this
large
compaign
Correct your spelling
campaign
and achieve their fitness goals.
Above all
, I think increasing
sport
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sports
show examples
facilities
is not a wise way
for
Change preposition
to
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make inhabitants
health
Replace the word
healthy
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.
In other words
, we should come out
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
methods to encourage
people
to take part in physical exercise on their own.
Submitted by lz481456 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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