Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
think that public equipment increasing is beneficial for domestic
health
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
others other think that we should use other methods to replace it. I prefer to
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
way to strengthen domestic
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
but not public sports
facilities
Use synonyms
. Now lifestyle is the main cause that
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
the
facilities
Use synonyms
effect. Many
people
Use synonyms
choose to enjoy their holiday at home, by the
way
Add the comma(s)
,way
show examples
such
Linking Words
as playing video games,
falling
Correct word choice
and falling
show examples
asleep as well, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they lack time in using
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
to keep
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
fit. In
this
Linking Words
situation, manufacturing
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
by governments, ignoring cities’ demand, has no impact on domestic
health
Use synonyms
because citizens would not go
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
show examples
to break comfortable zones.
This
Linking Words
would be a waste of resources like human
labours
Fix the agreement mistake
labour
show examples
, materials, land usage and so on Compared with increasing
facilities
Use synonyms
, organizing
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities can improve public
health
Use synonyms
better. Government can organize
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
, like domestic
marathon
Fix the agreement mistake
marathons
show examples
, making cities attend in a group.
People
Use synonyms
will gain energy and inspiration to finish
this
Linking Words
large
compaign
Correct your spelling
campaign
and achieve their fitness goals.
Above all
Linking Words
, I think increasing
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
is not a wise way
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
make inhabitants
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, we should come out
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
methods to encourage
people
Use synonyms
to take part in physical exercise on their own.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: