Some people say that the extinction of species is the main environmental problem that we are facing in modern times. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Some individuals say that the loss of fauna is the major environmental issue that we encountering than dying out of species, because
in in
nowadays. I totally disagree with Change preposition
apply
this
statement because there are several environmental issues such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
air
pollution
, and global warming extremely
important than Rephrase
that are more
Correct article usage
the disapperance
disapperance
of Correct your spelling
disappearance
ainimals
.
Correct your spelling
animals
To begin
with, there are a
various reasons why I believe there are very environmental Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
problem
than dying out of species. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Firstly
, in modern
world Add an article
the modern
the
animals Correct article usage
apply
has
become not Change the verb form
have
nescessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
thing
. Fix the agreement mistake
things
This
is because thanks to advancements in technology, we can carry out our medical researches
using Fix the agreement mistake
research
simulations
Fix the agreement mistake
simulation
progarms
Correct your spelling
programs
instead
of make
Verb problem
conducting
trial
in Fix the agreement mistake
trials
ainmals
. Correct your spelling
animals
Furthermore
, scientists discovered a new method to made
Wrong verb form
make
artifical
food, which Correct your spelling
artificial
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
indicate
our dependence Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
in
animals to meet our Change preposition
on
animals
meat will become less.
Change to a genitive case
animal's
animals'
Secondly
, I believe the biggest issues Correct pronoun usage
that threat
threat
Replace the word
threaten
the
life Correct article usage
apply
in
the earth in recent Change preposition
on
time
is Fix the agreement mistake
times
air
pollution
, and global warming. Regarding pollution
, air
pollution
is pose
a threat to human health . Change the verb form
poses
This
is due to
the fact that,
Remove the comma
apply
air
contamination can makes
people Change the verb form
make
are
more vulnerable to Unnecessary verb
apply
develop
serious diseases namely, cancer, Wrong verb form
developing
hear
Correct your spelling
heart
attack
, Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
asthma
. In terms of warming, global warming Correct word choice
and asthma
contribute
to rising the temperature of Change the verb form
contributes
earth
,which means Add an article
the earth
th
ice Correct your spelling
the
polar
will melt and cause Correct word choice
apply
rising
of sea levels. Correct article usage
the rising
Consequently
, in near
Correct article usage
the near
future
we will expect more natural disasters namely,floods, Add a comma
future,
extreme
weather, which Correct word choice
and extreme
this
will Correct pronoun usage
apply
makes
Verb problem
cause
a
considerable damage Remove the article
apply
in
Change preposition
to
people
homes Change noun form
people's
as well as
cost many lives.
To sum up
, I strongly believe the the
environmental Remove the redundancy
apply
problem
namely, Fix the agreement mistake
problems
air
pollution
, global
warming are very significant problems we face in Correct word choice
and global
modern
worldAdd an article
the modern
Rephrase
rather
pollution
and global warming have a negative impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a negative impact
negative impacts
in
health as well Change preposition
on
quality
of Correct article usage
the quality
living
of people .Replace the word
life
Submitted by faiz3177 on
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Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt but could benefit from providing a more balanced argument by acknowledging the importance of species extinction as well. Consider exploring both perspectives to strengthen your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed and a conclusion that summarizes the arguments presented. Work on structuring your essay with a stronger introduction and conclusion to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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