Write about following topic: Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #people #children #time #school #work

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Children's brain is growing and adapting way faster than adults. Their psychological needs are different from

thr

Correct your spelling

the

older population.

Thus

, they should be given an opportunity to explore and enjoy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

creativity

instead

of just following the regular coursework. In

following

Correct article usage

the following

show examples

paragraphs, we will discuss the benefits of leisure hours and the importance of co-curricular activities First of all,

thesr

Correct your spelling

these

their

kids already spend a bigger fraction of the day in

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

and completing their homework and assignments.

Therefore

, putting more pressure on them by increasing school work will only harm them in

long

Correct article usage

the long

show examples

run.

According to

one study, children with

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

scores and positions in schools are more prone to develop mental illnesses in their adulthood.

Hence

, it can be extracted that more curricular pressure will not help them in the long run.

Secondly

, kids who are more creative and those who love sports are better problem solvers and know how to handle when they are not successful. These juveniles have

ability

Change the article

the ability

show examples

to stand by themselves.

According to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research, children who are more successful in sports, become more tolerant and have better interpersonal

Replace the word

relations

show examples

compare

Change the form of the verb

compared

show examples

to those who are bookworms. In

this

way, it can be stated that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

creativity and hobbies play a very positive role in building a strong and responsible individual.

Furthermore

, the same

extracurricular

Correct your spelling

extracurriculars

show examples

can be utilised by kids

Change preposition

show examples

their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

in future. In conclusion, I can say

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

with full confidence that free time and hobbies are as important as traditional education. Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

we are moving forward to an era of artificial intelligence, our future generations need to be more creative and must have complex thought

process

Fix the agreement mistake

processes

show examples

to deal with future endeavours.

This

can only be achieved if we allow their minds to grow and nourish in a healthy manner and for

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

they definitely need leisure hours and enjoy what they like.

Submitted by Maj on Wed Jul 12 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?
In the modern world, many governments pay attention and raise their taxes on buildings like theatres and sports facilities. But some people argue that they should spend more budget on healthcare and the education system. I strongly agree with this idea the government should establish medical and education facilities rather than entertainment buildings.
5
band
Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Some individuals claim that all subjects should be taught to children at school, however, proponents say that they should only engage in subjects they are interested in or talented. Although I agree that study which covers all subjects can be better for children, I argue that children should study in some specific lessons that they have an interest and skills.
7
band
Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?
Being obese was once only a condition that adults suffered from, but it is becoming more common in children. This essay will first discuss how fast food and a sedentary lifestyle are the primary causes of this growing problem and then outline how education and increased exercise are the most viable solutions.
4
band
Living in a country where you must speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is obvious that's numerous societal issues will occur when you are a foreigner who has to use a foreign language. I tend to agree with this nation and my reasons will be illustrated my opinion with some relevant illustrations.
5
band
Due to the advancement of technology, more and more people are working from home. This has many benefits to workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Thanks to modern technology, the vast majority of the public finds opportunities to work out of their work. This phenomenon brings a plethora of merits for employees. Although the advantages of working remotely are undeniable, it may have some demerits as well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

Living in a country where you must speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Due to the advancement of technology, more and more people are working from home. This has many benefits to workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?