IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#feel #governments #prioritize #healthcare #areas
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It is true that
health
Use synonyms
 has become a top
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
priority
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society. Some people come with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 notion that higher officials should give more preference to healthcare
instead
Linking Words
 of other essential areas. I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 statement;
however
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, I do believe that other sectors
such
Linking Words
 as
education
Use synonyms
 and agriculture should
also
Linking Words
 be equally
prioritize
Wrong verb form
prioritised
show examples
. To commence with, in
this
Linking Words
 current day and age, good
health
Use synonyms
 is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a blessing since it is a daunting task to stay fit and active. The basic reason behind
that is
Linking Words
 adulterated food and
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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 lifestyle;
therefore
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,
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 feel to appeal
from
Change preposition
to
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 government authorities for better
Use synonyms
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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 facilities. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, it is observed through recent surveys that Australian residents are more healthy in comparison with Indian dwellers as their council is working on
betterment
Add an article
the betterment
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 of
health
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 centres.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some other imperative fields where
government
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the government
show examples
 have to focus
such
Linking Words
 as
education
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.
Education
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 helps individuals to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 all their dreams whether it is housing,
job
Correct article usage
a job
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 or materialistic things.
Hence
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,
education
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 plays a significant role in the life of a person because it promotes progress and security. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, it is always seen that
the
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apply
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educated countries like America
progresses
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progress
show examples
 well than
the
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apply
show examples
countries where
less
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fewer
show examples
 people are educated
such
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 as
Afganistan
Correct your spelling
Afghanistan
.
Moreover
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,
government
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the government
show examples
 should focus on
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
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 sector since it provides food to every
sections
Change to a singular noun
section
show examples
 of society. So, it is
cruciual
Correct your spelling
crucial
 to keep a check on
quality
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the quality
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 of
food
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the food
show examples
 which is being served in the nations. In conclusion, it is imperative for higher officials to concentrate on
health
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 sectors;
nevertherless
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
, focus on other important departments
such
Linking Words
 as
education
Use synonyms
 and agriculture should be concerned.
Submitted by manjotkaur540 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • preventive medicine
  • public health infrastructure
  • social determinants of health
  • fiscal allocation
  • government expenditure
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • life expectancy
  • pandemic preparedness
  • health equity
  • social safety net
  • holistic approach
  • non-communicable diseases
  • cross-sector collaboration
  • socioeconomic status
What to do next:
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