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Band 5.5

There are many things that can motivate people to perform well in their work. These can include the salary, job satisfaction or the chance to help others. What do you feel is the best motivation to do well at work?

#people #work #salary #job #satisfaction #chance #motivation
There
are
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is
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variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of reasons that can drive people to
work
 well in their job,
such
 as
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
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sufficient
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a sufficient
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wage
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wages
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,
satisfy
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satisfied
show examples
 with their job, have an opportunity to support others. I believe that the best encouragement to boost worker performance is to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their basic needs based on their
level
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of employement
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employement
Correct your spelling
employment
.
To begin
 with, understanding
employee
’s basic needs is one of the
way
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ways
show examples
 to encourage them
perform
Add the particle
to perform
show examples
 optimally at
work
. There are five basic needs based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory, and those three basic needs are appropriate to drive
entry
Add a hyphen
entry-level
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level
 or new
employee
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employees
show examples
.
Firstly
, workers will perform better at their job when a
company
 provide adequate
salary
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salaries
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 to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their basic needs
such
 as
to pay
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paying
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 bills,
to buy
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buying
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 meals, and
to afford
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affording
show examples
an
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apply
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accommodation.
Secondly
, an
Correct your spelling
employee
empoyee
Correct your spelling
employee
 will focus to finish their
work
 and
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 targeted tasks as a workplace give a valid contract within the agreed timeframe,
Correct word choice
and give
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give
Correct word choice
and give
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 occupational health and
Correct your spelling
safety
safty
Correct your spelling
safety
guarantee
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guarantees
show examples
.
Thirdly
,
this
 need refers to
to feel
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feeling
show examples
 a sense of belonging and acceptance. To fulfill
this
 need, a
company
 can create a group of
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 to
work
 together
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a project.
This
 means
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 feel
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a part
in
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of
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 the group and the
company
.
In addition
, the
last
 two top Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory is to motivate mid-
level
 and senior
level
. In these levels,
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
 has filled their previous needs.
Thus
, after a long time of working and several years
experience
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of experience
show examples
, they will seek other needs to accomplished which are self-esteem and self-actualization needs. In these stages, they will perform optimally when a
corporate
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corporation
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 appreciation of their
work
such
 as listen the proposal idea of innovation and
respond
Wrong verb form
responding
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 the feedback from workers related
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
certain project.
Lastly
, an opportunity to be promoted will drive the
employee
. They may
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
this
 need when they lead their subordinate when it leads to
feel
Change the verb form
feeling
show examples
 useful.
To sum up
, some ways that can encourage workers
perform
Add the particle
to perform
show examples
 better in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 is by understanding the five basic needs based on their
level
 in the
company
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic and provides a clear stance on the best motivation for good performance at work. Make sure to further develop and elaborate on each point to enhance the depth of analysis.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion. Work on connecting ideas more smoothly within paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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