IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Crimes committed by young people are increasing in major cities throughout the world. Discuss the causes and how to solve this problem.

#crimes #people #cities #world
With the increasing complexity of
society
, more young people are becoming susceptible to engaging in criminal activities in urban areas.
This
 essay will outline some of the reasons behind
this
 issue and propose possible solutions.
Firstly
, the younger generation tends to emulate
individuals
 without realizing that they are being influenced by their actions. They find these
individuals
 fascinating, but inadvertently become entangled in trouble and their mindset becomes corrupted.
For example
, when youngsters watch boxing or wrestling matches, they may unintentionally try to imitate the participants and, in a fit of anger, end up committing a crime.
Secondly
, in cities,
parents
 and caretakers have limited time to spend with their
children
.
Due to
 the lack of guidance, young
individuals
 are easily led astray by negative influences in
society
. Some younger
children
 join gangs or associate with criminals, adopting their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, including the use of weapons. Unfortunately, incidents like school shootings, where young
individuals
 inexplicably walk into schools and shoot
children
, are frequently reported in American
society
.
Hence
, it is crucial for young adults to receive close guidance and patience during their teenage years. Turning to the solutions for the aforementioned causes, the government must enforce rules and regulations to protect the younger generation from negative influencers in
society
. In my opinion, addressing
this
 issue is a collective responsibility that should involve
parents
 and
society
 as well.
Moreover
,
parents
 should keep a close eye on their
children
 even when they are occupied with their own work. By detecting subtle changes in their
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
parents
 can guide them onto the right path.
Submitted by anushakdu1982 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Socioeconomic factors
  • 2. Unemployment
  • 3. Poverty
  • 4. Access to education
  • 5. Dysfunctional family
  • 6. Parental supervision
  • 7. Peer pressure
  • 8. Social groups
  • 9. Substance abuse
  • 10. Impair judgment
  • 11. Criminal behavior
  • 12. Community resources
  • 13. Recreational activities
  • 14. Delinquency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: