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Band 5.5

Percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last 10 years discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing Trend

#percentage #children #society #years #effects #trend
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Over the time period of a decade,
their
Replace the word
there
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 has been noticed
the
Correct article usage
a
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 rise of 20% in the count of chubby juveniles in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Western society .
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both the reasons behind
inclination
Correct article usage
the inclination
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 of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of overweight children
as well as
Linking Words
 examine the consequences of
this
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 concerning topic. To initiate with, there are numerous causes why
kids
Use synonyms
 these days are suffering from obesity.Predominantly, unbalanced
died
Replace the word
deaths
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the major cause of
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
weighted youngsters.For elaboration,in the Modern Times, parents do not have enough time
due to
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 that hectic
scedules
Correct your spelling
schedules
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.
Therefore
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,they prefer to have readymade meals
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
instead
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 of making the
food
Use synonyms
 by themselves .
In addition
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,
presence
Correct article usage
the presence
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 of cafes,
restaurants
Correct word choice
and restaurants
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 from door to door has played
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 role in
uprising
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the uprising
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 of
this
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 trend.
As a result
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, the intake of
pre-processod
Correct your spelling
pre-processed
pre-processor
food
Use synonyms
 by youth has increased by a huge proportion.
Secondly
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, with the advancement and easy accessibility of modern technology,
kids
Use synonyms
 have stopped indulging themselves
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 physical activities.
This
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 band their leisure with electronic gadgets.
For example
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,
instead
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 of playing outdoor sports, children give reference to playing online games.
Consequently
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, they have become couch potatoes with
particularly
Change the word
particular
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 results in chubbiness.
That
Correct determiner usage
The
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 adverse effects of
this
Linking Words
 disturbing trend are very considerable. The more
kids
Use synonyms
 start consuming junk
food
Use synonyms
, the more they became to suffer from
health
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 hazards. Street
food
Use synonyms
 not only causes obesity,but
also
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 it is responsible for causing diabetes in
kids
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.
Besides
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 diabetes,many other cardiovascular disorders are faced by teenagers.
For example
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, to cure diabetes children are required to have insulin on
daily
Add an article
a daily
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 basis which makes them addicted to insulin.
Also
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,insulin puts bad effects on other body organs.
As a consequence
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,
kids
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 experience hazardous
health
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 issues.Despite
of
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apply
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causing
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health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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 problems,the immunity
system
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 of youth
get
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gets
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also
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 weakens.The strength of
immunity
Correct article usage
the immunity
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system
Use synonyms
 depends upon the nutritional value of the
food
Use synonyms
 which is being eaten. the nutritional content of street
food
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 is not up to the mark .more over,lack of physical activities
also
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result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
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 in
failure
Correct article usage
the failure
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 of a minority
system
Use synonyms
 in cooking with the
disease causing
Add a hyphen
disease-causing
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 factors, all the facts cannot be ignored.
To conclude
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, poor diet and advancement of Technology rule
this
Linking Words
 area of concern and impaired
health
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 and weak
defences
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defence
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system
Use synonyms
 are major
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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 with your seen by Juveniles in
themodern
Correct your spelling
the modern
 society.
Submitted by sandhuprabh090 on

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