It has been suggested that primary children learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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The importance of horticulture activity and raising animals is done by elementary kids is considered very potential for their wholistic growth. I believe that they would be responsible

Change preposition

for

show examples

implementing

this

Linking Words

practice, and

this

Linking Words

advantage far

outweigh

Change the verb form

outweighs

show examples

any crucial disadvantages.

This

Linking Words

essay will

further

Linking Words

elaborate my views and lead to a logical conclusion. One downside of doing gardening and animal husbandry by children might be that they could concentrate on their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

properly. It could distract them from their academic progress. They would not get desirable grades.

As a result

Linking Words

, they could not be able to get their names in higher ranks lists.

However

Linking Words

, I think

this

Linking Words

can be avoided if primary children would learn to manage their time in

effective

Change the article

an effective

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way. On the positive side,

this

Linking Words

practice would be beneficial for children to learn about their responsibilities. It would enhance their cognitive skills. They can conduct their timetable.

According to

Linking Words

last

Correct article usage

the last

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conducted survey by

Correct article usage

the university

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university

Capitalize word

University

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of Montreal, it is proven that 70%

school

Change preposition

of school

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kids are more proficient in managing their all tasks,

who

Correct word choice

and

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assist

Wrong verb form

assisting

show examples

their parents in household chores and gardening as opposed to those pupils who mostly disburse their spare time

Change preposition

apply

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watching television and

videos

Change the noun form

video

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games. I think

Remove the comma

apply

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this

Linking Words

could create

great

Add an article

a great

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advantage for society as

community

Add an article

a community

the community

show examples

would have liable youth among them. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

growing vegetables and keeping animals could affect juveniles’ study performance, I believe

this

Linking Words

downside is greatly outweighed by the upside that adolescents would be amenable, and they can

also

Linking Words

sharp

Replace the word

sharpen

show examples

their academic skills.

navdeepbajwa975Wed Jul 12 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

primary children
grow vegetables
keep animals
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills development
environmental awareness
health benefits
instilling responsibility
learning about food production
time commitment
maintenance costs
safety concerns
curriculum constraints
limited resources

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It has been suggested that primary children learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In order to solve traffic problems ,government should tax private car owners heavily and use the funds to improve public transportation. What are the positive and negative sites of this solution.

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen or pencil. what are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?