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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the present era, children have fewer responsibilities than in the past. Some people consider this as a positive development, others see it as a negative trend. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#era #children #responsibilities #people #development #trend
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Every generation has its own unique quirks,
this
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 one being that life is
overall
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 easier for everyone, especially children, who now have fewer responsibilities. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
such
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 a change is bad,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 think it is a positive development. In my opinion, the latter is true, my essay will be discussing the argument provided.
To begin
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 with, teenagers having
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 things to worry about may be considered a bad trend,
people
Use synonyms
 who go through
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 hardships usually grow up to be irresponsible,
therefore
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 the entire next generation might be worse off than the previous ones. Another thing that comes into play is critical thinking, a child who has everything handed to them on a silver platter is less likely to plan, observe and think for themselves in a tough situation. Many cases can be provided as an example,
such
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 as signing contracts, mechanical repairs and etc. Adolescents conditioned to tricky situations through trial and error are more likely to get by in adulthood without major issues, compared to those who have not. Looking at the bright side, children spending their golden years relatively
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
 is a great improvement.
People
Use synonyms
 who had to worry less in childhood are highly likely to be mentally healthy. Rationally thinking citizens, without any
pent up
Add a hyphen
pent-up
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 trauma
are
Change the verb form
is
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 exactly what society needs in order to function. Another argument for
this
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 is that adolescents who do not have to worry about earning money or responsibilities can focus on
self improvement
Add a hyphen
self-improvement
show examples
 and their studies, leading to a much more educated generation. In conclusion, both points of view have a right to exist. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is a negative trend,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 believe it to be a positive development. As mentioned before downsides and upsides are present, but in my opinion, it is a change in the right direction.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibilities
  • personal development
  • well-rounded
  • physical and mental well-being
  • life skills
  • sense of entitlement
  • real-world challenges
  • sense of independence
  • overly dependent
  • stress-free childhood
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