As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
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think that businesses should ensure their social responsibilities
instead
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of trying only to make
money
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. I strongly agree with
this
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view.
While
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it is important for
companies
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to earn
money
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, they must
also
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accept social responsibilities to protect
people
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and the environment. In
this
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essay, I will explain why both aims are needed and why social duties cannot be ignored. On the one hand, it is understandable that
companies
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focus on profits. Firms need to generate profits so that they can grow, pay staff, and invest in new products. If a business does not earn enough, it cannot pay fair wages or keep operating.
Also
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, when
companies
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balance profit and responsibility, they can reach long-term success, which helps everyone.
Therefore
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, making
money
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is a real need, but it should not be the only aim.
On the other hand
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, many
companies
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harm
people
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and nature when they only want profit. To cut costs, some firms use cheap materials, which creates a throwaway culture and more waste.
This
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can harm the environment and reduce air quality in local areas. In other cases,
companies
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may employ underage workers who accept low wages and suffer from poor working conditions.
For example
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, some clothing firms were accused of using child labour and paying too little
while
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selling products at high prices. These actions not only hurt
people
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,
they
Correct word choice
but they
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damage
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also damage
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the firm's public image and can lead to legal trouble and lost customers. In conclusion, I strongly believe that businesses should not focus only on profit. They must balance earning
money
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with clear social responsibilities so that they can protect workers, help communities, and keep a healthy environment for future generations.

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task response
Make your main idea even more clear in each body part.
task response
Add one more clear example to make your point stronger.
task response
Explain a little more why social duty is as important as profit.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care so the flow feels more natural.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas could be developed more fully before you move to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear topic in each paragraph and connect each sentence back to it.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give a strong opinion from the start.
task response
Your ideas are on topic and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
You use a clear essay shape with an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a good order and easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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