There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

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It is considered that it is more advantageous to focus on academic subjects to get a higher qualification with more time, even if you do not need to learn basic survival skills, I completely disagree with

this

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opinion and think that the knowledge connected with our living is more important for our well-being.

Firstly

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, it is no doubt that academic education plays a crucial role in personal career development.

However

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, it is hard to replace the

value

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of non-academic courses. People who succeed in their job field not only need academic achievements but

also

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possess non-academic abilities. Without

this

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knowledge, people could not find their life well-being.

For example

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, some sports stars could not be good at their textbooks when they were young at school, but they can find their individual

value

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in sports competitions, and these abilities are more likely to be developed as their permanent job to contribute to our society.

In other words

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, any physical education has its potential

value

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as well it is hard to substitute with academic performance.

Secondly

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, studying math, language, or any science knowledge well is not equal to people's creativity and innovation are much better than someone who may not achieve high achievement in an academic subject. Innovation needs much experience and art to be supported.

For instance

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, an architect without living experience could not design a perfect building for their clients because he will fail to consider their demands about these products. The source of creativity is more possibly from personal observation on a daily basis. In conclusion,I strongly believe that learning non-academic is more beneficial than academic subjects because it can create

value

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for our society and individuals.

Submitted by guojingchang0426 on Thu Jul 13 2023

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Fully explain your ideas

Space exploration is too expensive and many money should be spent on more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree

some people believe that university students should work part time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are spending more hours at their workplace. Why is that? Is that a negative and positive development?

Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. To what extent do you agree?