There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is considered that it is more advantageous to focus on academic subjects to get a higher qualification with more time, even if you do not need to learn basic survival skills, I completely disagree with
this
opinion and think that the knowledge connected with our living is more important for our well-being.
Firstly
, it is no doubt that academic education plays a crucial role in personal career development.
However
, it is hard to replace the
value
of non-academic courses. People who succeed in their job field not only need academic achievements but
also
possess non-academic abilities. Without
this
knowledge, people could not find their life well-being.
For example
, some sports stars could not be good at their textbooks when they were young at school, but they can find their individual
value
in sports competitions, and these abilities are more likely to be developed as their permanent job to contribute to our society.
In other words
, any physical education has its potential
value
as well it is hard to substitute with academic performance.
Secondly
, studying math, language, or any science knowledge well is not equal to people's creativity and innovation are much better than someone who may not achieve high achievement in an academic subject. Innovation needs much experience and art to be supported.
For instance
, an architect without living experience could not design a perfect building for their clients because he will fail to consider their demands about these products. The source of creativity is more possibly from personal observation on a daily basis. In conclusion,I strongly believe that learning non-academic is more beneficial than academic subjects because it can create
value
for our society and individuals.
Submitted by guojingchang0426 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: