The chart below show the percentage of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other language in addition to english, in 2000 and 2010.

#show #percentage #british #students #university #england #language #addition #english

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The pie charts illustrate the percentages of British undergraduates in England who had command over other languages than English in 2000 and 2010. In general, what stands out from the graph is that

although

overall

Add an article

the overall

show examples

percentage of

students

who were bilingual increased, French declined its proportion in popularity

instead

of Spanish and other languages. At the same time, the percentage of trilingual

students

also

climbed up

whereas

monolingual

students

went down in their figure.

To begin

with,

while

two fifths

Add a hyphen

two-fifths

show examples

of the

students

in the university could speak only English in 2000, the percentage was halved

Change preposition

apply

show examples

ten years later.

On the other hand

, the figure for those who enjoyed more than three languages including English increased by 5% within the decade from 10% to 15%.

Turing

Correct your spelling

Turning

show examples

to the breakdowns about bilingual

students

, the most popular second language was Spanish throughout the designated period. The popularity witnessed 5% growth from 30%

while

French

Correct article usage

the French

show examples

experienced the same amount of drop.

However

French

Correct article usage

the French

show examples

showed no difference in the percentages, standing at 10%. Meanwhile, we can

also

see a 5% rise in the section

represented

Wrong verb form

representing

show examples

those who can speak

Submitted by lisa_smile_2 on Thu Jul 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.

▼

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

186 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems might these differences cause? How might these problems be reduced?
It has been observed that a increase in level of living in a state always only seems to advantage cities instead of countryside. This essay will explore the various factors that contribute to this trend, followed by some possible solutions to solve this problem.
8
band
A friend of yours is thinking of going to a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: explain why you think your friend would enjoy camping. holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go on camping with your friend this summer
I hope you’re doing well! I was really excited when I heard that you’re thinking about going on a camping holiday this summer. I think you’re going to love it! Camping is such a great way to escape from the hustle of daily life and connect with nature. There’s nothing quite like waking up to the sound of birds, enjoying a campfire in the evening, and simply relaxing outdoors. Plus, it’s a fantastic opportunity for stargazing, which I know you love, without any light pollution.
5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There have been competing views on whether college students could study other subjects out of their field of study or they have to focus and concentrate on their main subject only. In my opinion, it would be better if they give more attention to their main field instead of learning many disciplines of knowledge.
6.5
band
An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?
Over the last few years, more and more specialists, like doctors and educators, have been relocating from their poor countries to developed countries to get better work. This essay will discuss the main problems of brain drain, such as a country's increasing poverty and lack of talent development and propose solutions including investing in small businesses and offering benefits to skilled workers.
<4
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A great number of state believes in financial progress is their most important purpose while others believe there are different kinds of developments which equally important for a country.

The chart below show the percentage of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other language in addition to english, in 2000 and 2010.

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems might these differences cause? How might these problems be reduced?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.