IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table shows the proportions of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.

The table shows the proportions of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.
#proportions #income #items #uk
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table illustrates information about the expenditure of the UK people on various 4 items
such
Linking Words
 as food,electronic equipment,
music
Use synonyms
 and videos in the year 1998.
However
Linking Words
,units had been mentioned in Percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
 teenagers were the biggest consumers of electronic equipment and
music
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 adults spend most on foodstuff rather than all other items.
Although
Linking Words
,
boys
Use synonyms
 were the biggest consumer of all various items. In terms of expenditures on food , women got the highest ranking with 39% spending and teenagers (including
boys
Use synonyms
,girls and children) were spending very small amounts between 9% and 11% on food as compared to electronic equipment which was highly prefered by children and
boys
Use synonyms
 as they spend 23% and 18% respectively
whereas
Linking Words
 women spent smallest income only 1%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
 was highly prefered by all of the young generation
such
Linking Words
 as
boys
Use synonyms
,girls and children as they spend 38% ,40% and 39% respectively
whereas
Linking Words
 aged people spend 5% on
music
Use synonyms
 as compared to videos which were most precious among
boys
Use synonyms
 as they spent 18% on it
while
Linking Words
 women spent 0.5% on videos.
Submitted by muhammadwaleed8687 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such, whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words music, boys with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: