IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the government should use extra money to fund programs to improve the environment. Others think that it is better for the government to spend money to support artistic programs. Which option do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #government #money #fund #programs #environment #support #option
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A bunch of
people
Use synonyms
 opine that the regime must invest more money to resolve the
pollution
Use synonyms
 problem from the
environment
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 others think that lawmakers
also
Linking Words
 give attention to uplifting artistic programs
such
Linking Words
 as music and theatre. I support the former statement because the
environment
Use synonyms
 is a first priority for everyone and
pollution
Use synonyms
 arises a major threat for all.
Firstly
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, nature is like a mother
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 everyone which gives everything whether food or shelter so, it is a social responsibility to keep it clean.
Therefore
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,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can organize camps and awareness programs to increase the interest of
people
Use synonyms
toward
Change preposition
in
show examples
 nature.
For example
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, the Indian government started a cleaning program in all cities and villages so, they can control
pollution
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 and build a healthy nation
as well as
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 promote growing more plants and
also
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awarded
Wrong verb form
award
show examples
 the
people
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 who contribute to
this
Linking Words
 program.
Secondly
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,
pollution
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 is becoming
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 dangerous threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the earth. Many problems arise in all countries like some areas are
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 floods and somewhere has droughts.
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due
Capitalize word
Due
show examples
 to
this
Linking Words
 global warming happens which means temperature increases day by day and
people
Use synonyms
 impose with serious problems like asthma and skin cancer. In
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 studies show 80% of
people
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
are effected
show examples
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 with serious diseases
due to
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pollution
Use synonyms
 so,
it
Correct word choice
so it
show examples
 is important to make the balance in the
environment
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 by reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 artistic programs are
also
Linking Words
 important for entertainment , protecting the
environment
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 should be our first duty because without it nobody can survive
Linking Words
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 need to clean their surroundings and don't put litter on roads as well.
Submitted by grewalpt1249 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate
  • allocate funds
  • environmental conservation
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable development
  • protect wildlife
  • reduce pollution
  • promote sustainability
  • artistic development
  • cultural expression
  • creative industries
  • nurture talent
  • artistic innovation
  • enrich society
  • budget allocation
  • prioritize
  • public opinion
  • government responsibility
  • social welfare
  • public wellbeing
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