In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes commited by young people in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest?

#years #rise #crimes #people #cities

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Recently, the number of

crime

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cases

commited

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committed

young

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the young

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generation in urban areas has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

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increased.

This

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essay will elaborate

the

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on the

show examples

main factor behind

this

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issue and offer some possible solutions to tackle the issue.

To begin

Linking Words

with, social

media

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is the fundamental reason why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crime

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cases in cities rise especially

Correct your spelling

show examples

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

by young

people

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Change preposition

show examples

social

site

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sites

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, younger

people

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Correct article usage

apply

show examples

role

model

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models

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either celebrities or influencers. They

also

Linking Words

immitate

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imitate

their idol’s

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life style

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lifestyle

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, fashion, and even

life

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habit

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habits

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without filtering

wheather

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whether

it is good or bad. Youngers think that it would be cool if they try to look the same as celebrities

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

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For example

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, in the capital city

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show examples

Indonesia,

the

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apply

show examples

adolescents age around 15 to 17 or students in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

middle and high school consume smoke because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

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influencers do the same.

Indonesia

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In Indonesia

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, smoking is illegal and

include

Correct subject-verb agreement

includes

show examples

one of the crimes cases when

people

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consume it under 18 years old.

In contrast

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, there are two possible ways that can be proposed to solve the

aformentioned

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aforementioned

issue.

Firtsly

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Firstly

, the role of

parents

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in the development of

adolescent

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adolescents

show examples

is really pivotal where

parents

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can take control

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show examples

their children’s

life

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By being

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Being

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a good role model is one of the

way

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ways

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that

parents

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can do for their

child

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children

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and they can

also

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support

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a support

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system in their

life

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. By doing those actions, it is

esier

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easier

for

parents

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to take control and give

an advice

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advice

a piece of advice

a bit of advice

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which are

the

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apply

show examples

good deeds and bad deeds.

Moreover

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, teachers in schools

also

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can be good figures for young

people

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. Schools can make a

socialition

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socialisation

to raise younger

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people

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people's

show examples

awareness about

crime

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, law, legal and illegal activities.

Thus

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, it is hoped that by knowing the legal and illegal activities young

people

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do not carry out activities that violate the law.

To sum up

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, social

media

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application is the primary

caused

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cause

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why the

crime

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issues

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

young

Add an article

a young

the young

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citizen in the cities rise.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

and teachers are the two figures that can be solutions for

this

Linking Words

phenomonen

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Thu Jul 13 2023

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

341 words

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In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes commited by young people in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Have you recently bought a mobile phone? Write a review about the phone explaining why you bought it, how easy it is to use and if you would recommend it to others.

Full-time university students spend much of their time on study. Some people think it is essential for them to take other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?