The charts below show the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarises the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar graph illustrates how much the country has earned from exporting in 5 different categories and the table provides information about the proportion difference in each category for the years 2015 and 2016.

Overall

Linking Words

, petroleum products have a maximum earning compared to other categories in 2016.

In contrast

Linking Words

, looking at the proportion of textiles, it has the highest improvement in growth. In regard to petroleum products, the amount gained by 2016 is 62

billion

Use synonyms

which is the largest income that happened in 2016 but looking at the percentage it has a slight rise of 3%

than

Change preposition

from

show examples

the previous year.

Whereas

Linking Words

Engineering goods were the second largest source for the country with 61

billion

Use synonyms

and had an improvement of 8.5% in growth. Looking at the figure for Gems and Jewellery, it had decreased to 5.18% value in 2016, with a rate of approximately 40

billion

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, textile Industries had an appreciatable hike of 15.24% which is the highest change that occurred in 2016 with 31

billion

Use synonyms

. ,

Meanwhile

Add a comma

,Meanwhile

show examples

the agricultural products had an 0.81% increase by the year 2016 with the same value as textiles.

Submitted by sowmya madhavan on Thu Jul 13 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "improvement" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

187 words

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