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Writing Samples
Band 3

Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#children #time #computer #games #sports #development
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Nowadays practically every second kid
waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
show examples
 a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 playing computer
games
Use synonyms
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of doing sport. I guess
that is
Linking Words
 because of the new era of virtual reality. We live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
morern
Correct your spelling
modern
 world full of many options
how
Change preposition
for how
show examples
 to waste our
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet.
Also
Linking Words
, it might be more
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
 for the child to play something with his friends via
Add an article
the
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 with different effects and without any
preparing
Replace the word
preparation
show examples
 or without doing something hard, like
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 outside.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I am sure that spending a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 on computer
games
Use synonyms
 has a negative
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
 on
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
health. The kid might have problems with eyes, weight and back in future.
Also
Linking Words
, communication via chat is different than in real life. So, it may be hard to communicate later. The child can feel
himseld
Correct your spelling
himself
 a bit lost with others.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 we can see many cons.
Games
Use synonyms
 aren't that bad if you control your
time
Use synonyms
. But still, children don't track their
time
Use synonyms
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 on
games
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 why it is recommended for adults to check it and let
todlers
Correct your spelling
toddlers
play no more than an hour per day. After that a kid can go for
awalk
Correct your spelling
a walk
, do some
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activities,
play
Correct word choice
and play
show examples
 with friends outside. Today many children spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 playing computer
games
Use synonyms
 and little
time
Use synonyms
 on sports. Why is
this
Linking Words
? Is it a positive or negative development?
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
What to do next:
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