The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

Many educationists believe that
such
subjects as
arts
and
music
should be cut out of the curriculum in order to prioritize subjects like information technology in the modern world.
Although
the suggestion might be beneficial to a certain extent, I disagree with
this
because of its potential harm to children. I believe that
art
education can be beneficial to students in many different ways.
First,
it is a well-known fact that learning
arts
helps improve creativity and critical thinking skills, which are essential for young people when entering the workforce. In fact, in more and more occupations today, creative thinking is an indispensable part of job descriptions, especially in content creation positions.
Second,
art
programs can help ensure better academic performance.
For example
, numerous studies who participate in these classes have higher levels of engagement and motivation, leading to higher
overall
learning scores at school. Another compelling reason not to cut
art
and
music
classes is that they foster a sense of cultural appreciation and awareness. Through
music
courses, students can learn about different cultures and historical periods, developing a more nuanced understanding of the world.
This
can be particularly valuable in our increasingly globalized society where cross-cultural understanding is becoming more important.
In addition
, studying
arts
and
music
can help a student improve important social skills, including teamwork and collaboration.
For instance
, when students work together on an
art
project, they
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have to learn how to communicate their ideas effectively and collaborate with other team members from various backgrounds, which can be particularly beneficial to those who struggle with social interaction or have difficulty making friends in other contexts. In short, the suggestion would be shortsighted and harmful to young people in a variety of ways. I believe that
arts
and
music
should be well-invested
instead
of being removed because of the broad-based benefits they can offer.
Submitted by quangduong11750 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, presenting a well-reasoned argument against cutting arts and music from the curriculum. The points raised are relevant and effectively support the writer's position.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure, with an introduction that sets up the argument and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the key points. The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, and the essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next. However, there is room for improvement in transitioning between paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion.

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