IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid
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Some
people
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 believe that
money
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 is the most impotent need of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developing
countries
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.
Although
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 I agree that the developed
countries
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 should give
money
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 to poorer
countries
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, I fervently believe that other
type
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types
show examples
 of
helps
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help
bits of help
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 are more helpful rather than financial aid. It is true that
money
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 could solve many developing problems for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor
countries
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.
For instance
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,
while
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 the government of the third
countries
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 has more
money
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, they can construct more schools,
pant
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plant
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 more trees, build wider roads, and give more
money
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 to the poorest
people
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, and so on.
Money
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 plays an important effect here, helping to construct
the
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an
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 efficient
market
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 and to Improve the Conditions of
education
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 which create the rich is the best choice. In order to get more effects,
the
Correct article usage
an
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 efficient
market
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system
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 should be constructed, and the conditions of
education
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 should be improved. One root of poor is that
people
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 have poor opinations to work.
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Market
Fix the agreement mistake
Markets
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 help
people
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 to exchange their goods and services,
thus
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people
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 could get
the
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apply
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jobs.
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Market
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The market
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system
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 can solve the employment.
Moreover
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,
education
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 is another method of getting rich. In
the
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apply
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poor
countries
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, children cannot enjoy
the
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apply
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school life and get
better
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a better
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education
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. As common sense,
Education
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 can change a country
with
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into
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 a better future.
Therefore
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, developed
countries
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 should help to construct the economic
system
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 and
education
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system
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
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. In conclusion,
although
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money
Use synonyms
 could solve many problems for many poor
countries
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, I strongly believe that it could not solve poverty, the help
of
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in
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 constructing the economic
system
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 and
education
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system
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
Use synonyms
 is more effective rather than financial aid.
Submitted by walter6596 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
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