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Band 5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid
Some
people
 believe that
money
 is the most impotent need of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing
countries
.
Although
 I agree that the developed
countries
 should give
money
 to poorer
countries
, I fervently believe that other
type
Change the wording
types
show examples
 of
helps
Change the wording
help
bits of help
show examples
 are more helpful rather than financial aid. It is true that
money
 could solve many developing problems for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
.
For instance
,
while
 the government of the third
countries
 has more
money
, they can construct more schools,
pant
Correct your spelling
plant
show examples
 more trees, build wider roads, and give more
money
 to the poorest
people
, and so on.
Money
 plays an important effect here, helping to construct
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 efficient
market
 and to Improve the Conditions of
education
 which create the rich is the best choice. In order to get more effects,
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 efficient
market
system
 should be constructed, and the conditions of
education
 should be improved. One root of poor is that
people
 have poor opinations to work.
Market
Fix the agreement mistake
Markets
show examples
 help
people
 to exchange their goods and services,
thus
people
 could get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs.
Market
Add an article
The market
show examples
system
 can solve the employment.
Moreover
,
education
 is another method of getting rich. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
, children cannot enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school life and get
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
education
. As common sense,
Education
 can change a country
with
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a better future.
Therefore
, developed
countries
 should help to construct the economic
system
 and
education
system
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
. In conclusion,
although
money
 could solve many problems for many poor
countries
, I strongly believe that it could not solve poverty, the help
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 constructing the economic
system
 and
education
system
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
 is more effective rather than financial aid.
Submitted by walter6596 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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