IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative #crimes
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For a long time ,
prison
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 sentences were a controversial topic.A vast majority of
people
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afirm
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affirm
a firm
 that longer
prison
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 sentences
is
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are
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 proportionally correlated to the minimisation of
crime
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, others are of the option that there are different alternatives to
this
Linking Words
 problem. Extended
prison
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 punishment has several benefits.
This
Linking Words
 decision would make
people
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 think twice before committing any type of
crime
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.
As a
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result
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,result
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this
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 would reduce essentially the number of prisoners.
However
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, extending the
prison
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 sentence is not effective from the
economical
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economic
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 point of view because the number of prisoners will escalate and jails will be forced to be reconstructed to get additional space and to employ more staff for the security of the prisoners.
As a
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consequence
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,consequence
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 the state will have to invest extra funds into
this
Linking Words
 particular sphere that does not bring back any profits.
On the other
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hand
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,hand
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 some
people
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 argue that it is more beneficial to apply different methods to reduce
crime
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.
Firstly
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 , if a country has jobs
where
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that
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 citizens could apply
and
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for and
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 make a decent living
out of
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apply
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, the number of criminals will be reduced.
Consequently
Linking Words
, funds that would have been used for the construction of jails will now be used for
economical
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economic
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 development and
people
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 will have a better living.A substantial root of
crime
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 is selfishness and greed.
This
Linking Words
 can be extracted from our society by teaching young children the right way of living.The change would result
into
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in
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 a different society that lives greater and has a decreased
crime
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 rate. In
conclusion
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,conclusion
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 it is true that both views have their own unique advantages and disadvantages.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • restorative justice
  • vocational training
  • root causes
  • accountability
  • substance abuse
  • integrate back into society
  • mental health care
What to do next:
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