IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people support the developments in agriculture such as factory farming and creations of new types of fruit and vegetables,while others oppose this view,Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, with the rapid growth of population,more and more
people
Use synonyms
 pay more attention to agricultural production.Some
people
Use synonyms
 state that using advanced technology in farming systems is necessary for
people
Use synonyms
. The opposite side holds it could pose a serious threat to human well-being.I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 can
be benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 from the use of advanced technology.
Firstly
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,some viewpoints argue that traditional farming methods have more advantages in terms of health and safety.In ancient times,all of the farming products including vegetables and fruit were planted without fertilizers and pesticides,and animals could be fed natural
food
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such
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 as grass in the wild or pests,They stand against the abuses of factory farming.
people
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 eating organic
food
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 will have much better physical health,
as well as
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natural
Change the word
naturally
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 feeding animals
obey
Correct subject-verb agreement
obeys
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 their value point.
Moreover
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,new types of vegetable and factory farming have many unpredictable risks for
people
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's well-being,
such
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 as whether it would cause genetic diseases or the potential danger of pesticides.
Secondly
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,with the significantly increasing population , of earth,the shortage of
food
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 has become the most serious issue,But
this
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 condition has been reversed by high-tech development.Modern farmers using automatic machines improve efficiency and productivity,
as well as
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 reduce labour costs.
Therefore
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, it is ensured that every individual can eat cheap and sufficient
food
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 every day without the influence of bad weather conditions and differences.Meanwhile, various agricultural products
also
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 have a positive effect on the global economy.A thriving economy can bring a positive cycle to the whole world. In conclusion,
although
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 are concerned about the safety of new agricultural products.
However
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,I believe that modern technical methods can be used to solve
people
Use synonyms
's survival issues.

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