When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration

It is often suggested that attractive compensation is one of the most critical factors that affect

work

seekers to land new

jobs

. Personally, I completely disagree with

this

view for a variety of reasons.

Firstly

,new employees

also

care about personal relationships and the atmosphere in a workplace when they first come to

work

This

is because working environments are extremely important when choosing a job, a great salary can not respond to all the employees’ convenience with low standards and facilities;

along with

the fact of utilizing

work

experience for enhancing job performance. In fact, being offered a great salary is not the best idea for new workers who spend their time working in inefficient workplaces.

For example

, having a good manager or friendly colleagues can make a huge difference to workers’ levels of happiness and general quality of life.

As a result

, their income rises gradually, similar to their higher responsibilities for

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

jobs

Secondly

although

, more profitable

jobs

require better performance at first glance, they usually have some kind of pitfalls and challenges.

This

means that newbies participating in new

jobs

have to deal with much competition either their bonus wage.

Furthermore

, strength and duration are two obligatory things that every new employee must look at first.

Therefore

, if they are blinded by immediate profits, they will have to bear a lot of risks that

work

causes. In conclusion,

while

it is true that the profit from payments is very necessary, I strongly believe that there are more important factors to consider in order to achieve complete job satisfaction. In my opinion, each person has to review these activities' strategies and requirements to be able to earn more money in the future, even ,more they volunteer or offer.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Fri Jul 14 2023

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Task Response

The essay does not fully address the prompt, and the arguments lack clarity and relevance. The introduction and conclusion need improvement and the examples provided are not specific enough to support the main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. It is recommended to use clear topic sentences and connect ideas coherently within and between paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion also need to be improved to better organize the essay.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, but there are instances of inaccurate word choice and awkward phrasing. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices to link ideas is limited, and the essay lacks lexical precision and variety.

Grammatical Range

The essay shows an attempt at using a range of complex structures, but there are frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and agreement. It is recommended to work on sentence construction, verb forms, and subject-verb agreement to achieve greater accuracy and variety.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consideration
sole factor
financial stability
security
motivating factor
dissatisfaction
demotivation
job satisfaction
overall well-being
fulfillment
work-life balance
flexible working hours
vacations
career growth opportunities
skill development
advancement
determining factor

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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, governments should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc.to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local people when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country To what extent do you agree or disagree?