When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration

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It is often suggested that attractive compensation is one of the most critical factors that affect

work

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seekers to land new

jobs

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. Personally, I completely disagree with

this

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view for a variety of reasons.

Firstly

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,new employees

also

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care about personal relationships and the atmosphere in a workplace when they first come to

work

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This

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is because working environments are extremely important when choosing a job, a great salary can not respond to all the employees’ convenience with low standards and facilities;

along with

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the fact of utilizing

work

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experience for enhancing job performance. In fact, being offered a great salary is not the best idea for new workers who spend their time working in inefficient workplaces.

For example

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, having a good manager or friendly colleagues can make a huge difference to workers’ levels of happiness and general quality of life.

As a result

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, their income rises gradually, similar to their higher responsibilities for

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

jobs

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Secondly

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although

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, more profitable

jobs

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require better performance at first glance, they usually have some kind of pitfalls and challenges.

This

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means that newbies participating in new

jobs

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have to deal with much competition either their bonus wage.

Furthermore

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, strength and duration are two obligatory things that every new employee must look at first.

Therefore

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, if they are blinded by immediate profits, they will have to bear a lot of risks that

work

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causes. In conclusion,

while

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it is true that the profit from payments is very necessary, I strongly believe that there are more important factors to consider in order to achieve complete job satisfaction. In my opinion, each person has to review these activities' strategies and requirements to be able to earn more money in the future, even ,more they volunteer or offer.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Fri Jul 14 2023

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Task Response

The essay does not fully address the prompt, and the arguments lack clarity and relevance. The introduction and conclusion need improvement and the examples provided are not specific enough to support the main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. It is recommended to use clear topic sentences and connect ideas coherently within and between paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion also need to be improved to better organize the essay.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, but there are instances of inaccurate word choice and awkward phrasing. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices to link ideas is limited, and the essay lacks lexical precision and variety.

Grammatical Range

The essay shows an attempt at using a range of complex structures, but there are frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and agreement. It is recommended to work on sentence construction, verb forms, and subject-verb agreement to achieve greater accuracy and variety.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consideration
sole factor
financial stability
security
motivating factor
dissatisfaction
demotivation
job satisfaction
overall well-being
fulfillment
work-life balance
flexible working hours
vacations
career growth opportunities
skill development
advancement
determining factor

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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why is this the case? How can they be encouraged to go out?

Some people believe that the government should fund art and culture, while others think that it should only fund sciences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days, it is pervasive to have people from two different generations mix in ‎the same workplace. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this ‎situation? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.‎

In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other groups.What are the causes for this problem and what can be done to solve this?