IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that eighteen years old is the appropriate age to finish school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #eighteen #years #age #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it has been widely discussed about what
age
Use synonyms
 is the most appropriate to finish
school
Use synonyms
. Most people believe that
eighteen
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 is the best. I
extremely
Rephrase
apply
show examples
agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because, at that
age
Use synonyms
, the students have an adequate level of maturity and responsibility to face the challenges of a new stage.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
this
Linking Words
 idea, in most countries,
eighteen
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 is the
age
Use synonyms
 when children are considered full adults with rights and responsibilities. A new door opens with great privileges
as well as
Linking Words
 profound legal implications. Indeed, because of
this
Linking Words
 level of maturity, society hands the children new transcendental rights. To illustrate, they can obtain a
driving
Correct word choice
driver's
show examples
 license, buy a car, or
including
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
get married. They receive all the responsibility of making decisions on their own. Another aspect to consider is the fact that most Psychologists affirm that children at
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 have emotional, analytical, and effective maturity that allows them to decide and start with a new challenging stage like university, in fact,
eighteen
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 is the average
age
Use synonyms
 to start college.
Moreover
Linking Words
, important capacities for logical reasoning and cognitive stimulation are evident at
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they are finishing
school
Use synonyms
 with appropriate abilities to continue their education.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, it is a fact that not all student maturates at the same time. Some individuals state that the new generations are starting to demonstrate that they are absolutely able to finish
school
Use synonyms
before
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the number of teenagers ending their studies at an early
age
Use synonyms
 is not large enough to declare that
this
Linking Words
 tendency is changing society's conviction about
this
Linking Words
 topic.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that there are solid arguments to affirm that
eighteen
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 is the appropriate
age
Use synonyms
 to finish
school
Use synonyms
 and there is no strong reason to believe that
this
Linking Words
 vision will change in the next
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by paulinanavarretea on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure that the introduction includes a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt. Also, make sure that all body paragraphs discuss points that directly relate to the thesis statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Connect ideas and paragraphs effectively to improve coherence. Insert transition words and phrases to enhance the flow of the essay. Also, provide a conclusive summary in the conclusion that restates the main points and discusses their significance.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: