Some people say that sport is very important for a nation's development, while others believe that sport is no more than a leisure time activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #sport #nation #development #leisure #time #activity

It is believed that

sport

is essential for a

nations`s

Correct your spelling

nation's

show examples

development

.Whilst some

people

agree with

these statement

Change the determiner

this statement

these statements

show examples

,others think that

sport

is no more than a leisure time activity.

This

essay will discuss both views and argue in favour of the former. On the one hand,

sport

plays a great role in a

nation

Change noun form

nation's

show examples

development

Firstly

sport

profoundly impacts

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

`s health. In simple words,if you do some

sports

,you will be much

Change the word

apply

show examples

healthier than ordinary

people

,given the fact that

sport

stimulates

heart

Correct article usage

the heart

show examples

and lung system

work

Fix the infinitive

to work

show examples

harder.

Moreover

sport

helps us to calm our mind. What

Change the capitalization

show examples

wanted to say is that when you are doing

sports

,you forget about everything:your problems,your difficulties in life and so on.For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

instance,when

Change the capitalization

show examples

do push-up exercises

Change the capitalization

show examples

do not think about anything.

Thus

Change the capitalization

show examples

can concentrate on push-ups and do my best.

To sum up

,everything that

Change the capitalization

show examples

mentioned before enriches

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

nation

Change noun form

nation's

show examples

culture,by improving each person`s

physicall

Correct your spelling

physical

and

mentall

Correct your spelling

mental

mentally

condition.

On the other hand

people

believe that

sport

is just a measure to spend your free time.First of all,

sport

is just

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entertainment.

In other words

,many

people

sports

to spend their spare time with benefits to

organism

Fix the agreement mistake

organisms

show examples

Furthermore

sport

is sometimes used to communicate with other

people

,because what can make

relationship

Add an article

a relationship

the relationship

show examples

stronger than the same activity

Change the punctuation

show examples

addition

Add a comma

,addition

show examples

it is much

fascinating

Correct quantifier usage

more fascinating

show examples

to do

sports

with someone.so not only would you make your connection stronger,but

also

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities would be by far more fascinating. In conclusion,many

people

think that

sport

benefits only

person`s

Correct article usage

a person`s

show examples

health and

physicall

Correct your spelling

physical

condition.

However

,not for one moment should we forget that

Correct article usage

a nation

show examples

nation

Change noun form

nation's

show examples

development

depends on

development

of each individual.

Submitted by dzhumabyev2007 on Fri Jul 14 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

258 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that sport is very important for a nation's development, while others believe that sport is no more than a leisure time activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

1/ Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and the governments should make it free

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, traditional food is replaced by international fast food. This has adverse effect families, individuals and society. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

many people say that a person`s success is a result of the way they have been brought up by their parents