The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada.
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The bar chart gives information about four different
places
Use synonyms
visited by people living in Canada. The four
places
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shown are Cinema, theatre, library and zoo. The three different kinds of people taken into consideration are new migrants born in English-speaking countries, new migrants born in other countries and people born in Canada.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be argued that Cinemas are the most visited
places
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
theatres are the less visited.
Moreover
Linking Words
, new migrants born in other countries seem to love spending their time in libraries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they seem to dislike spending their time in theatres. These two tendencies could be connected with the language. Focusing on details, more than 50% of the three categories took
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
consideration usually visited cinemas,
while
Linking Words
less than 25% of them visited theatres. Zoos and libraries are
places
Use synonyms
that each of the categories used to visit with a percentage that goes between 35 % and 55%.
Submitted by Andrea Barreto on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words places with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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