At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent times, the inhabitant of some nations includes a relatively large
number
of youth
adults
, compared with the
number
of elderly
people
. In my opinion,
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
of having
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
of young
people
compared to senior
people
outweigh the demerits. On the one hand, The primary disadvantage of a lack in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of senior
people
can have a negative impact on the economy of the country.
This
is because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies
Add an article
the companies
show examples
run
Add a missing verb
are run
show examples
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they have plenty of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
to deal with challenges in
professional
Correct pronoun usage
their professional
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
compared to young
people
.
Therefore
,
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of older
people
can job market.
On the other hand
, I would
like
Add the particle
tolike
show examples
argue that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of having
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number
of young
people
than older
people
significantly
Add a missing verb
are significantly
show examples
more than
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
show examples
. The first advantage, more youth
adults
means more workforce available. To illustrate, young
people
have more energy and healthy body than older
people
.
Consequently
, more young
people
can engage in
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
market , which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can contribute to
boosts
Wrong verb form
boosting
show examples
the economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
Mitigate
Wrong verb form
Mitigating
show examples
the pressure on the healthcare system is another advantage of having
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
percentage of young
adults
than senior
people
.
This
is
due to
the fact that, young
adults
less
Add a missing verb
are less
show examples
vulnerable than older
people
to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
serious diseases namely, heart attack, cancer,
Correct word choice
and Alzheimer
show examples
Alzheimer
Change noun form
Alzheimer's
show examples
.
As a result
, the government can save a considerable amount of money related to
look
Change the verb form
looking
show examples
after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
people
.
To sum up
, In my perspective, the upsides of having
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number
of young
people
compared to elderly
people
outpeform
Correct your spelling
outperform
the downsides
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because more youth
people
means more
people
can enhance the economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
,
minimize
Correct word choice
and minimize
show examples
the pressure on the healthcare system.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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