Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centers provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

These days,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
parents
have not been aware to take
care
of their
children
by themselves. They will likely pass the role to some relatives or even
day
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
care
. I believe that the best way to educate and take
care
of
children
is by their own
parents
which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
this
essay
Firstly
, when relatives have the role to take
care
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
children
, it is trustworthy because we have already known the person.
However
, our families don't have any
procedure
Fix the agreement mistake
procedures
show examples
when it comes to
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
care
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
child. They don't have the responsibility to teach and educate them. Another option is to bring our
children
to the
day
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
care
. They will have the procedure and
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
care
of our
children
because we
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
for it. So we don't have to
be worry
Change the verb form
worry
show examples
about the responsibility to our
children
.
Parents
should be more careful and aware to find good
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
. Because they will hand the
children
to a complete stranger.
However
, not everyone can provide childcare because the fee is very expensive. In conclusion, it is alright for
parents
to put
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
trust in relatives and
day
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
care
when it comes to taking
care
of the
children
after some research and consideration, but
parents
should be taking
care
of their own
children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that they can have close
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
, when they have grown up they will be aware the importance of
parents
presence, they will feel comfortable around them.
Submitted by rafeyfa.dea on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: