The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of retail sales made online of four diverse products in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Generally, what stands out from the pie diagram is that in 2003 the travel sector was at the peak of its development, and

on the contrary

, books were at the very bottom, but in 2013 online sales of these goods fell and increased

accordingly

. If we look at 2003, travel was considerably more popular than books, with figures of 37% and 19% respectively. Clothes and film or music were equally popular at 22 in proportion. Regarding the changes in 2013, books went up slightly from 19% to 22%.

By contrast

, the number of travel and clothes consumers dropped significantly from 37% to 29% and from 22% to 16% correspondingly in 2013.

Finally

, in 2003, 22% of sales were in film and music,

however

, by 2013 the number decreased noticeably to 29%.

Submitted by maryamg1919 on Sat Jul 15 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

153 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Comparative analysis
E-commerce
Retail sectors
Growth rate
Decade
Decline
Trends
Online transactions
Consumer behavior
Market share
Significant increase/decrease
Digital era
Accessibility
User-friendly platform
Market dynamics
Predictive outlook

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The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

More and more people are leaving countryside to live in cities. Do more advantages or disadvantages of this development for environment

Some people think that online learning is more effective and convenient for student, while others believe that traditional classroom learning is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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